kimsbanded

** 5th April 2007 6pm **
Home at last... It was a success and it's over!! Yeah! Well the operation is over, now starts my new life.. I was first in and I cried and carried on when they pushed me away from my Mum, I am 24 and acted like a 4 year old.. Mum was FANTASTIC, she kept saying remember you want this, you want to be happy and healthy and skinny... You will be fine..!! My mum is the best!! I cried some more when I was down stairs about to go into surgery... I remember telling the nurse I dont want the needle, I am scared of the needle, the drip! she was fantasic, she covered my eyes while they put it in, I remember looking at Patrick and saying look after me Dr McDreamy (HA HA - gotta score points with someone that is about to operate on me) Patrick is fantastic, he just laughed! :) I woke up screaming in pain, and that quickly stopped when they put morphine through the drip which was still in my arm, I was so happy, I couldn't feel the drip.. I remember being taken upstairs and I could see Mum & Dad, I was so drugged... I dont really remember much else... Patricia and Simon came to visit me and apparently I told them the same story about 4 times... Sleeping in hospitals just doesn't happen.. I watched DVD's all night long, I wanted my own bed, and my dog Jack to keep me company and look after me.
In the morning Patrick came in and asked how I was, I was feeling so sick, but the pain wasn't too bad, thanks to my friendly button which releases morphine.. It is great! I asked Patrick if I could go home and he said yes. Mum came and picked me up. When I got home this morning I walked into my room and the girls from work had decorated my bedroom with streamers and balloons, it was such a great suprise... I am still in ALOT of pain, but I have NO REGRETS!!! I am so happy I decided to save my life :) :) Now I have to go sleep- me tired.

** 11th April 2007 1pm **
The last few days have been heaps better... I only really had pain for probably the first 2 -3 days, I still can't sleep on my tummy, which is really annoying but at least the pain has gone... I've had lots of visitors :) which is great!! I am so bored... I am going back to work just for half days because I can't stand being at home any longer, it is driving my brain nuts!! I've already lost 8 kilos, I am so excited.... I LOVE MY BAND!!! I can't wait for April 2008 to be here, and I will be so healthy, happy and HOT! LOL

** 16th April **
First check up with Patrick since Operation. My scars are all healing really well, and I have lost 12.2 kilos. YEAH! I am so excited. I am onto mushy foods, which is very exciting, I am mainly eating Velish soups, puree fruit and scrambled eggs. I am so happy with my success so far. Lap Band is the best thing I have ever done in my life.

** 24th April 2007 **
I got to start solid foods today, a bit early because it is my Birthday Party today.. Patrick said it was ok. The first solid food I ate was sushi! I love Sushi and what was even better was I ate 1/3 of a hand roll and was full.
My 24th Birthday was fantastic, pictures are on my site. This is my first Birthday since being Banded, I already got comments on my Birthday about how much weight I had lost and how good I looked. It was fantastic!! :) I drunk 3 glasses of wine with orange juice at my party and ate a small piece of chicken with salad, then I was so drunk after only 3 drinks, which pre band I would have needed about 30 LOL, I tried to eat a sausage in bread! BIG MISTAKE. What made me think that 20 days after Lap Band I would be able to eat a sausage.. I don't think I will ever eat a sausage again, I spewed it all up... I was feral!!

** 6th July 2007 **
God I love my Band!! I feel so much better than I ever have in my life. I can walk at a fast past on the treadmill now for over 30 minutes, and I am not even tired.. I love it. I am still annoyed with things like clothes, down 3 sizes since Operation but can't wait till I hit a size 16 so I can go into normal shops.. Why is it that clothes over size 20 and so stupid!! Why do designers think fat people want their fat tuckshop arms to be out for the world to see. These designers obviously do not have obese people on their panel to approve designs. Got my next appointment with Patrick next Tuesday, can't wait to see my results, I don't think I will be having a fill because I am still losing over 1 kilo a week, and still have really good restriction.

** 17th July 2007 **
Went to see Patrick today, he is so happy with my results, he has said he doesn't want to see me for 2 months this time, which is a bit scary, I dont want to fall off the wagon, but I am sure I will be ok... I am determined to lose weight and reach my goal (NEVER, NEVER, NEVER, GIVE UP).. I have just signed up with Andy Spalding the guy who lost 50 kilos to be my personal trainer, will be seeing him for an hour once a week, I am really looking forward to that, I am so over walking on the treadmill, going on the cross trainer, and rolling around my ball at home, will be good to do something different, and also good to do it with someone who has been there before. I am still taking my multi vitamins every day, but I have been very tired the last week or too and also very very moody, lets just say I've been a bitch!! Am trying a different multi vitamin this month to see if it makes a difference. I got all my hair chopped off on Saturday from the cousin... It looks so different, I have never had short hair, all the guys at work reckon it looks hot, but they are a bunch of wanker real estate agents LOL... I like it.. I am getting lots of comments this week, about gee you've lost weight, and as all of you know, I tell everyone that I've had Lap Band done I don't care.. Although it was hard trying to explain it to an asian client today, who doesnt speak english, but all my other clients, if they ask how I lost so much, I tell them... I am proud I finally found something that works for me..... See you all soon. xo

** 28th July 2007 **
This morning I had my first personal training session with Andy Spalding, he had lap band surgery about 2 years ago and has lost over 50 kilos.. He is a fantastic personal trainer, it is 100% worth driving to Frankston for. The hour went so fast, usually 30 minutes on the treadmill feels like it lasts forever.. I am really looking forward to working with Andy, I am positive he is going to push me and help me reach my goal weight.. Everything he says about things he went through I can relate to so much. It's great having a personal trainer who has been through what we are going through. If anyone wants his details email me.... Will let you know how I go next week. I am sure I won't be able to walk tomorrow from today's workout.. WOO HOO!!

** 31st July 2007 **
Today was a horrible, horrible day, the worst in a long time, it was a real test to see if I would use food to control my stress... Unfortunately old habits are hard to change, and I did, but I wasn't too bad.. My horrible day started by arriving at work to see we had be broken into and the safe, with cash inside had been stolen... Then I had to yell and get into my Assistant, who just wasnt doing his job properly, I gave him a few stern words, along the lines of pick up your game mate... I was getting complaints from clients about him, and the day was just dragging out.. At 2pm he went out the back for a smoke and didn't come back, when he wasn't back by 2.30 I rang his mobile - NO ANSWER, and finally I got a text message saying I have quit, I can't handle this job... BLA BLA BLA... In my opinion that is so gutless, at least have the balls to resign properly you don't just walk out the door and not come back... So then the problems starting coming in left right and centre, I found lots of errros and things he just didn't do... I was sooooooo angry at work.... I am still angry now. At one stage I thought I was going to cry I was that angry, then my boss reminded me I AM A TOUGH BITCH! I dont cry!. LOL... If only he saw me when I was bandid... LOL... Then I just got home an hour ago to find my kitchen and lounge room FLOODED!! Yes that's right. A pipe under my house had split, so now I have been on hold with my Insurance company to organise someone to come out......... S H I T... In the past I would have eaten about 5 kilos of chocolate and chips by now.. NOW I haven't, I did eat probably a bit too much at dinner, and I had a piece of licorice and I ate 2 chips, but thats it.. And based on my past that is so much better... Lets hope tomorrow is a better day... I am going to read my inspirational page for a few hours now... LOL... Nite

** 1st August 2007 **
Well another shit house day at work thanks to that person who disappeared and never came back.. But eating is all back on track... I have had 2 glasses of Jewel Champagne, which has made me very happy :) LOL .. And did anyone actually know that their mum's were right when they said, go for a walk it will make you feel better when you are feral!! I never believed my mum, but I just went on the treadmill for an hour and then did 50 step ups and SHIT it feels good... I still want to punch the shit out of something but heaps better than yesterday... Wish Andy was here with those gloves and punching gear!! I reckon I punch him to the next suburb I am that feral at the moment.. LOL... My house is getting fixed, had insurance company here, my carpet needs replacing, half of my kitchen needs replacing and I am getting a new cabinet which got damaged from the water... Finally an Insurance company that doesn't screw you over FANTASTIC!!!!

**4th August 2007**
4 Months today since I was bandid... It was definately the best decision I have ever made in my life.. I love my band so much, it has been my tool in helping my save my life. The last 4 months I have also learnt alot about other people and myself... For starters there are so many cruel people in this world and there are so many USERS... I am so sick and tired of them all, I used to put up with it and so much more, because I always told myself, Kim you are the fat one just do what they ask and then at least you have friends, Now I couldn't give a shit, you don't like me for me, then F$&% off, (excuse the language, but god almighty I should write a book about being used).. I have also learnt that some people don't want other to succeed... They don't want me to lose weight, be happy and reach my goal, because they want me to be the fat, unhappy one forever to make their life look so much better... Well to all you people, I WILL GET TO MY GOAL WEIGHT!! I will be happy, I will be healthy, I will look hot, and I will find the man of my dreams... So all negative people are now out of my life aswell... I simply don't have time for people like that anymore, I am only going to surround myself with people who love me for me, encourage and support me, and to those good true friends, you know who you are 'THANK YOU'... My mum is now also thinking about having Lap Band Surgery and is going to see my Surgeon soon.. I am so happy for her, I can't wait for me and my mum to have glamour shots together when we are both at our goal weights.. OMG!!! I almost forgot, my most important news for the week.... I CAN NOW JOG!!!! Yes that's right!! i dont think I have been able to run since I was about 10, and yesterday I jogged... It was the best feeling ever, my body could have gone even longer, but my chest went tight and I couldn't breathe so thought I'd best stop.. But I am very excited about that... Nite all... xo

** 9th August 2007 **
Today my brother and his wife had their first baby, a beautiful boy, Mitchell. He is so adorable. He is another reason now to make me want to reach my goal and keep me in line.

** 14th August 2007 **
I had Belinda's Hens Weekend this weekend, what a ball. She is the funniest chick I have ever met... I drunk a fair amount of alcohol on Friday night, but hardly any on Saturday night.. I was smart and made the right food choices most of the time, a few times I ate some minties, but nothing too bad.. Yesterday I only had dinner, and today I think I will do the same.. I just am not hungry (WHICH IS A GREAT FEELING), I am making sure I still have my vitamins and lots of water etc. OMG.. I went for a jog this morning and a guy tried to pick me up, it is a very strange feeling to finally have men trying to pick me up, I am so suss on them all, are they just mucking around with my head or are they serious? I think this will be a huge challenge for me in my journey, cause I am used to men being such pigs, calling me names and being very cruel, and to be getting that positive attention now is very strange. I love my band.. To anyone reading my site thinking will I, won't I... Take the plunge, DO IT and DO IT FOR YOU!! You will not regret it. I don't think I have ever been so happy in all my life :) xo

** 21st August 2007 **
Why is when you have Lap Band you instantly think your problems you had with food that made you obese in the first place will just go away... I am not necessarily addicted to junk food, but I am addicted to food.. I seem to have days where it doesn't bother me and then there are other days, like today, when I want to cry I want food so much.. And of course if I try and binge like I use to I just feel sick instantly and end up spewing. If ANYONE has any ideas, or any books they have read which help with the addiction to food, and fighting it away, please email me.. I am going nuts.. I don't know if I should go back to the shrink? Any suggestions! I am still losing weight, but my mind is starting to think about nothing but food all day long. Please email me ideas everyone. Thanks

** 22nd August 2007 **
I have finally admitted to myself today that I desperately need a fill... For the past few days, I have been fine during the day, but at night I can eat so much, I haven't been eating anything naughty but OMG all I do is sit at home at night thinking about food and what I can eat. And I haven't really spewed once from overeating lately.. I have been crying lots because I don't want to put the weight on I have lost, but on the same hand I am sooooo scared of the needle.. It makes me want to be sick just thinking about that long needle going into my tummy.. I almost didn't have the opeartion the first place purely because of the needle, and now that I need a fill I am again faced with that fear... I dont' want to throw away all my hard work... I rang Christine from Patrick's office this morning and explained to her that in the morning I am ok, but in the afternoon and night I am starving, she said definately time for a fill, she is so lovely she has even offered to come in and hold my hand. Before I go on Monday night I will have lots of sedatives that my Dr gave me to try and calm me and I've also got the numbing cream to put around where my port is... I am soooooo nervous, I want to cry.. But I just have to keep telling myself 'I want to be skinny, I want to be skinny, I can do this, nothing beats me......' Will keep you posted with what happens.

** 24th August 2007 **
I am much better today after being really depressed for the past few days.. I have eaten far too much food, but I can honestly admit none of what I have eaten is fatty or oily or sugary just too much in general, I have gotten over the fact I am having a fill on Monday, I am trying to be excited about it, because in theory it is going to help me lose more weight, so I should want it... I read a great Lap Band book last night which has a great section about Head hunger, it was fantastic, it really helped me tune into and remember I may not actually be physically hungry, I am eating for other stupid reasons and I need to stop, dont waste what I have done just for the sake of food - it is not worth it... I have been exercising like mad!! I've been doing a 40 minute workout in the morning and a major workout every night. Monday night is now Curves, and Tuesday and Thursday night is water aerobics.. So I am trying my best and LOVING the exercise, it is just the food side of things I need to control... Talk soon Kim :)

** 26th August 2007 **
OMG OMG OMG ... I sleep till my fill... I am crapping myself... I am soooooooooooo nervous... Tell you how it goes tomorrow night... I know I am going to cty and carry on like a 2 year old LOL..

** 28th August 2007 **
WOO HOO!! I did it... I had my fill, and it didn't hurt at all.. I had taken my sedatives before I went and put Alma cream on my port area, and it honestly did feel like a blood test.. Patrick was fantastic, he just laughed at me the entire time and kept cracking jokes. Which made we want to smack him LOL... But seriously it was weird but no where near as painful as I ever thought... Wooo Hooo, thanks for everyeones support and kind words.. :)
Night time - I forgot to mention earlier I now have 5ml in a 10ml band..Which is great in my opinion because that has probably reduced the possibility of having to have another fill. And GOD have I noticed the difference today. I could hardly drink 1/2 a cup of tea this morning, I had 2 mouthfulls of stew for lunch and for dinner I had 2 biscuits with sardines. I am sooooooo happy that I am full again after the fill. YEAH!

** 30th August 2007 **
I am so happy that I got the fill.. I have lost over a kilo in 3 days.. It is such a huge difference.. For breakfast I am eating about 1/2 a wheetbix, for lunch a salad with tuna the size of a cup (and I struggle with this), and for dinner about 4 mouthfuls of something.. I am drinking lots of green tea still and water, and I am definately making sure I am taking my vitamins everyday cause I am really not eating alot.. I have also noticed with my new fill that I am not able to eat things I was before the fill, like white bread and pasta.. So I am very happy I got the fill, it was worth the little bit of pain for a few seconds.. I am so so happy with my Band.. I went to the 1000 steps last night in FTG and I am so close to the top.. Those of you who don't know it is my goal to get to the top before the end of the year.. If I do I get $1000 CASH!! Good incentive hey... Well I am going to go walk my butt off and eat a mouthful of food.. Hope every banded or unbanded is doing well. Bring on March 1st, I can't wait to be at my goal weight... WOO HOO.... P.S. Isn't it a god dam beautiful day today :) :)

** 1st September 2007 **
WOO HOO... I am so so so happy... Today I got some new jeans today and I can fit into a size 18, I almost cried. :) I haven't been a size 18 since I was about 15 years old.. I am so happy... I got some bathers and board shorts today too, cause me, Belinda and Jenni are doing water aerobics. I had personal training with Andy this morning, it was fantastic for once I didn't feel like I was going to die, I can tell such a difference now, I am so much fitter now than what I think I ever have been.. I am so excited about everything. My friends and I are going to having a BBQ today and all I want to do is run around and scream... Tonight I am going out with Jem and the other bandits for dinner and bowling, it should be a blast, can't finally wait to meet some young bandid people. WOO HOO... I LOVE MY BAND... If anyone reading my site is thinking about getting it done.. I can not recommend it highly enough, it has helped me save my life.. Remember you still have to play your part, in eating the right foods and exercising, but it is a priceless tool and if used correctly will help you lose weight and change your life forever :) :) Going out to enjoy the sunshine :) :) :)

** 10th September 2007 **
Well I am absolutely loving my band.. I was filled 2 weeks ago today, and since then I have lost over 5 kilos... I am absolutely loving it... I have also gone from a size 26 to currently an 18/20. I have to order my bridesmaid dress for Melissa's wedding next Saturday, I am looking at ordering a size 16, and hoping I am a 14 by the wedding and they will take it in for me. I really need to lose about another 30 kilos I think to be that size, so will see how I go - I am sure I can do it.. I've got water aerobics twice a week now, personal trainer once a week, 1000 steps twice a week, and lilydale lake once or twice a week so my exercise schedule could not be any busy I don't think. But I am loving the exercise at the moment, I have my little ipod and it makes me disappear into my own little world or being skinny LOL.. I have a great story about Saturday night.. On Saturday night I went to the footy and some arrogant wanker was making fat jokes at me, and I didn't hear them, what a shame (my friend told me).. I wish I did hear him, I would have said mate you should have seen me 6 months ago, you think my ass is huge now should have seen it before lap band, this smart ass remarked would have been followed by a nice punch to the head LOL... I really don't understand why in this society obese people are constantly teased in public, ALL THE TIME.. Yet people who are tall, short, black, white, big ears, big lips, ugly whatever else don't cope nearly as much shit as us big people.. It is shit!! To anyone that makes fun of obese people, be sure to make fun of me if you see me, cause I'd love to bash the shit out of you.. As you can see having been overweight my entire life has lead me to become a tad violent towards people who tease overweight people, when I was younger I used to cry, try and ignore them or just scream, now I say some absolute stupid comment back followed by some physical abuse LOL... Not good I know and I don't recommend violence, but try living for the past 16 years being constantly stared at and teased, it sucks!! I am suprised Im not in jail by now. LOL.. Hope everyone is doing well :)

** 17th September 2007 **
Hi All... Well thank you to everyone for your support and comments, I've been getting heaps of emails lately. Well I have had a bit of pain and been a bit sick the last week, but all good now. My weight kinda stopped though this week, no gain, no loss... So I am upping the exercise side of things, cause I don't think I could eat any less than what I am eating. I now have something to do every single night for exercise, Monday - 1000 steps, Tuesday - water aerobics, Wednesday - Personal trainer - Andy, Thursday - water aerobics, Friday - 1000 steps, Saturday - Personal trainer, Sunday - water aerobics.. Surely with this amount of exercise, the weight will fall off me over the next month. While I am wanting to be at my goal weight for the 1st March, for the Wedding... I would love to have a good crack at it by Christmas, especially so I can see family that haven't seen me since before my band, and just blow them away with the difference. I had to order my Bridesmaid dress and I have ordered a size 14, in a hope I will force myself to be a size 14 my March 08... I think I am going to cry at the Wedding if I fit in it.. I will be so happy.! It will be the best day every.. Nothing much else to report, Jenny and I are trying to start up a support group at our Hospital, so if anyone who is a patient of Patrick's is interested, please email me so I have your details. Would love for it to all go ahead, but I think it will depend on numbers.

** 18th September 2007 **
WOO HOO!!! Last night I got to the top of the 1000 steps for the first time. It was pitch black, but we had a torch, it was much better doing it when no one else is there.. It took 35 mins to get to the top from the carpark, so now my goal is to beat that time each week, till I am jogging up those steps... It felt so good to get to the top, I was so excited I text about 20 people, to those who text back THANKS :) This morning my legs are pretty sore, but god I love that feeling. LOL... Tonight is water aerobics so that will be nice for my legs.

Unfortunately I wasn't able to get a pic of me at the top cause it was so dark.

** 19th September 2007 **
Well I am sure my entire family thinks I am having a mid life crisis at 24... But I call it a change of life for the better... I am very much an obsessive person. If I want something I wanted it yesterday, not tomorrow.. As a result of my addictive personality I have become obsessed about exercising, and finding new things to do. Last night Jenny and I did water Aerobics at Nunawading which was an absolute ball... My legs are still all worked out from the 1000 steps. Every day I have some physical activity I am doing for a minimum of an hour, I am doing most things with different people, some people I see a few times a week, I am finding the difference in what I am doing is keeping me motivated, not to mention I love a good chat with my friends :) Yesterday me, Jem and Jen did something crazy and decided to register for the 10km walk as part of the Samsung Melbourne Marathon (check out my page on it if you are interested) I can wait! I am so excited, the girls and I are pumped. The way we are looking at it is, it is 4 laps of Lilydale Lake, and I can do that so I am sure I can do this... Well I haven't lost any kilos this week so far, and I have worked my butt off, but I know I have lost centimetres cause I can tell the difference in clothes, so I won't get upset or mad YET!! But if it doesn't drop off in the next week or so, I will get a bit concerned. My eating is going well, I am pretty much eating 2 or 3 very small meals a day, heaps of water and no sugar cordial all day long.. Nothing else much to report, pretty flat out with work, and lots of Football events coming up. Collingwood game on Friday, Grand final the following week and then I am going to Collingwood Best and Fairest, which should be a great night, will be sure to get a pic with the hottest player I can find and put on my site.. Well I love hearing from you all so be sure to keep emailing... Hope everyone is doing well with their Bands, and remember there is heaps of support out there if you need it - but you have to ASK :) :) xo

** 20th September 2007 **
Well I have officially cracked it...... I weighed myself this morning and I have put on 1.5 KILOS.. I CAN NOT BELIEVE IT!!! How can you put on 1.5 Kilos doing the amount of exercise I am doing everyday. I am honestly doing over an hour every single day, I have been eating only healthy and such small meals. I have cracked it so much I just want to eat now, but I am trying hard not to.. I keep annoying and winging to my Mum and Michael about how ANGRY I am... :( This is the part of weight loss I HATE, the plato or when you put on, it makes me instantly fall into a state of depression, and usually I end up crying and eating.. I won't this time, but can I just say I am pretty pissed off.. If it doesn't fall off over the next week, then I will rethink crying and eating. LOL... Trying to stay positive at this stage, I understand this journey will have its ups and downs, so I will take it all as part of the journey to the new ME! :)

** 25th September 2007 **
Well I seem to have lost that bit of weight that was put on, but haven't lost anymore.. I have decided to get rid of my scales, it is becoming a joke I was weighing myself like twice a day.. So I am taking them to my mums, that way I will weigh myself just once a week. Me and Jen practised our 10km on Sunday, went really well came home with a jog LOL.. I am sure we will be fine for the day, it will be lots of fun.. My only issue I think I have with Lap Band is I think there should be more support for the emotional eating and your brain.. Jen and I are trying to start a support group for our hospital but we have to talk our Surgeon into it. I am still finding it very hard not to eat when I am sad or angry.. My job doesn't help, it is very stressful and of late staff are giving me the shits, people aren't doing their jobs properly, people are quiting. It is so annoying! No wonder people sell businesses I know now why - STAFF! They are crap!. In my anger and absolute feralness last night I ate about 10 square of cadbury lite chocolate, which I thought wasn't too bad, I still kicked my ass about it this morning, but it could have been worse I suppose... I just want the weight to start dropping off again, its been sitting for a while now. And I don't think I need a fill.. A few people have suggested with the amount of exercise I am doing, it might be muscle, so we will see. Well off to work, hopefully today will be better than yesterday, don't think it could get much worse.

** 1st October 2007 **
Well I am very happy with this weeks results it is finally falling off me again. Lost 2.3 kilos this week... And rightly so to be honest, I have worked my butt off. This Sunday is the 10km walk/run I am hoping we will be able to run a bit at the begining and then run it home aswell. I've been doing 4 hours of water aerobics a week, seeing Andy twice a week, and Lilydale Lake and 1000 steps, so I am glad my hard work is paying off again. Food is the same, still really good restriction, and if I feel like something sweet I will have something sweet, it is just all about the quantity now, and I have a chocolate chip low fat cookie, not a family size block of Cadbury Chocolate, my brain finally seems to be working with me now, for ages my head has always been bigger than my belly.. I am slowly learning to not cook for 4 when its just me eating. Tonight Mum and I are going to the Knox Private Support group session, cause that is where Mum is getting banded. I also have my check up with Patrick today which I am actually really excited about, I dont think I will be having another fill, the restriction is good and the weight is falling and my head is switched on :) WOO HOO! I am finally in control... This Thursday will be 6 months since I was banded, on Friday I will post some new pics, be sure to check them out. :)

Oh I almost forgot to mention. On the 30th November, Andy has organised a Lap Band Camp, it is a weekend for Lap Banders to get together and socialise, eat well, exercise and learn heaps about Lap Band and how to work with it. To anything thinking about going I would highly recommend it, since training with Andy I have lost about 20 kilos and I can honestly say he has helped me so much, and be part of my success. If anyone is thinking about going check out his website or email him at info@activebalance.net

Hope to see you all there :)

** 3rd October 2007 **
Well I am a happy girl this week.. The weight is just falling off me again, so I am very pleased.. I have still been exercising ALOT, 7.5km walk yesterday and 1 hour of water aerobics, tonight is PT with Andy, and this Sunday is the 10km walk/run at Samsung marathon.. And I am very suprised I am really excited about it, I can't wait!!
I am not very happy with some Lap Band people at the moment, and I don't even know who they are. I constantly am reading negative comments about Lap Band, people winging about their results.. This is just my opinion - but get over it! If you aren't seeing results ask yourself what you are doing wrong, and if you can HONESTLY tell yourself you are doing everything 100% right, then go back to your Surgeon for answers. I know this comment is probably going to annoy people but honestly, we have been given a tool, which in my opinion is absolutely priceless and some people are just not working with it.. If you are one of those, get yourself sorted, you are wasting a great opportunity to save and change your life forever! I am not going to push that all Lap Band patients should exercise as much as I and some of the others do, because I understand that is not the point, but that is my choice, I want to see the results quickly, I want to be fit, I want my skin to go back and tone, so that is why I exercise so much, and I now really love it, and can't go without it. So that's my opinion for the day. I've said it so many times, I love my band, it has changed my life forever, I am so happy with my results. If you aren't happy with yours don't be negative, be positive and change your ways! And if it is still not working, go back to your Surgeon.

It is my 6 Month Anniversay with my band TOMORROW :) :) :) :)

** 8th October 2007 **
What a very busy weekend I had... Friday night I went to the Collingwood Best and Fairest at Crown with Michael, his dad, and we had some extra tickets so Andy and his cousin also went... It was the best night.. I get some fame struck with all the players LOL... Had lots of photos check them out on my site.. We ended up going to the After party and then between Andy and Michael we got into the private party with all the players... And I am not saying anymore LOL.. I drunk too much, and for those of you who know me, know that I should not drink too much cause I usually regret something the next day.. LOL... But all up it was a fantastic night.. I think we got home at 5.30am (haven't done that in ages).
Saturday Morning - after about an hours sleep I went to meet Andy and Adro for a Session, which was probably a mistake, god did I feel like shit, went home and had a good spew, well 2 actually, then I had a nana nap and a very quiet Saturday Night..
Sunday Morning - bright and early, The Marathon, woo hoo!! The girls and I did so well we were all very proud, check out pics on site, we finished the 10km in about 1 hr 20 mins.. Andy and his cousin did the full marathon, which I hope to be able to do in 2 years maybe! It was a great day!!
Talk soon xo
I am loving my band and loving the things I am now able to do because I've lost the weight.. Bring on the rest of my life full of things I've always wanted to do, but never could. :)

** 10th October 2007 **
Well in one week today Mum will be banded.. I can't wait for her to have it done! My mum suffers from High Blood Pressure and we have a family history of stroke and diabetes, her main reason for wanting to lose the weight is to be healthy and reduce her changes of becoming sick.. Being 24 my main reason is to look good LOL... I also want to be healthy and not be sick, but come on honestly I am 24! I have never had a normal childhood, teenage years or early adulthood, I just want to be normal and look nice :) I am finding at the moment with my band that I can't eat much in the morning or lunch, but by 4pm I could eat anything, just gotta keep myself busy I think and make sure I am not just sitting at home lonely and eating LOL.. I think that's why I like exercising at night, keeps me busy, weekends is better cause all my mates are around, but during the week is hard. Have personal training tonight with Andy which should be good now that my body feels half normal again, on Sunday and Monday night I sat in a spa for a few hours my body hurt so much and last night I had a massage with those cup things, ouch! did that hurt but it feels better now.. Am having a crapper of a day at work - but what's new! LOL.. Looking forward to Friday at 5.30pm..
Oh.. my most important news I almost forgot... Yesterday I had to get new clothes for work cause my suit and shirt I was wearing looked terrible... And I was able to get size 18 suit and size 16 shirt... YES THAT'S RIGHT A SIZE 16 SHIRT!!!! WOOOOOOOO HOOOOOO.. I want to cry I am so happy! I honestly have not been a size 16 since I was about 13 years old I reckon... Bring on size 12/14 :) LOVE MY BAND SO MUCH!!

** 12th October 2007 **
Sophie told me off today for not updating my journal everyday, I am too busy.. We have no staff at my office at the moment, so I actually have to work my butt off. Weighed myself this morning have lost another .8 kilos in about 2 days, I have to stop weighing myself though! I become addicted and then crack the shits if it doesn't go down, or even more if it goes up. I've still been exercising alot, 2 hours of water aerobics last night, and deep water running is by far the best you feel it so much the next day. If any bandid people want to come to water aerobics with me and Jen please email me, we go to pools in Nunawading and Kilsyth, so pending on where you live, - email me for details. Have PT training with Andy and Adro tomorrow which I am looking forward to, and am glad it is so early cause it will stop me from drinking on Friday nights.. I have been very good with alcohol since my band, for those of you who know me well, you will know how much I used to drink, and most nights I would drink ALOT!! and weekends, OMG weekends were a right off - full of junk food and spewing to make me feel better.. LOL.. Now I am alot healthier, I will admit I have still got drunk, but I have only got really drunk probably 3 times since the band, and they were all for good reasons LOL.. Not just a Friday or Saturday Night.. If I drink now I get annoyed cause of the calories and make sure I work extra hard that following week. You still have to have a life with your band, but a healthy life :) Mum is on countdown for her op next Wednesday, I am so excited for her. Her blood pressure was up yesterday so she better be behaving...

**16th October 2007**
Well what a week so far... I had a great weekend but was feeling shit house pretty much the entire weekend. Had training with Andy and Adro on Saturday morning which was fantastic.. I met a great chick named Belle, she is such an inspiration and you can tell in her eyes she has determination to succeed, she hasn't had lap band and is losing weight on her own, for that she is alot stronger than me, I couldn't do it without the help of the band. On Sunday I met up with Andy and some other lap band girls and there I met Freya and Aimee, I reckon the 3 of us chicks could go out and have alot of fun and possibly get into some trouble LOL... I have been to the Dr's this morning and I have tonsilitis, which is so annoying cause I feel like crap and can't exercise much. I've had to cancell Andy tonight cause when I walk anywhere it just feels like I am swallowing knifes, I really need to have my tonsils removed, but as you all know I don't like operations..

TOMORROW MY MUM IS GETTING LAP BAND!!! Yeah! I am so excited for her! Will post some pics of her in hospital tomorrow night, I am going to annoy the crap out of her with my camera.

** 22nd October 2007 **
What an action packed weekend... Unfortunately I was a bit naughty this weekend, partied too hard, drunk too much and didnt really sleep... But I suppose that is life, I have kicked my own butt enough about it today, I am over that... It was a mistake drinking that much alcohol, but that is part of the journey, the hurdles along the way.. I didn't really exercise much last week cause I had tonsilitis and really wanted to get rid of that. Today is a new day and I am back on track, I haven't eaten anything bad, but I drunk WAY TOO much alcohol, acted like an idiot all weekend and didn't exercise enough, but back on track.. This week I am going to push myself again, and get back on track... Although I was a tad naughty this weekend, I did have a great weekend... A very funny Saturday night, thanks Aimee ;)
My mum is doing very very well, she went for a walk around the block 48 hours after the op and she has been walking every day since then, she has a bit of back and shoulder pain but not a great deal.. Cause she gave birth to me and I was over 10 pounds, I don't think anything could be that painful and she is tough and has a good pain threshold..
Hope everyone is doing well on their journey to the new them..
Remember Tuesday, Thursday nigths and Sunday morning- Water Aerobics - great for the skin :) if anyone wants to come with myself and Jenny (also had lap band) send me an email :)

** 23rd October 2007 **
Well it serves myself right... I have put on 1.1 kilos since Friday. :( :( Ive had a big cry about it this morning and now I am over it... My mum was right alcohol is crap and makes you put on weight... NO MORE ALCOHOL FOR ME!! Oh... here is a challenge for me.. 'NO ALCOHOL UNTIL CHRISTMAS DAY.' Will have to work really hard this week to get back down. I was so close to the double figures and now I am further away that what I was last week.. DAM IT!!! Think I need to read some other lap banders sites today and get some inspiration and motivation for the week.. or better yet I might pull out the fat photo album..

** 25th October 2007 **
WOO HOO! Back on track.... Back into the exercise. Had a GREAT session with Andy last night (Thank you Andy) and I am feeling that good pain today! Did deep water running at 6am this morning and feeling good.. I think I've found my inspiration again.. And I am determined to lose the weight I put on plus much more. I have booked in a fill with Patrick for next Thursday, cause I definately need it, I am getting back those old pains of hunger, and eating just too much food, thank god I haven't eaten anything bad, but just too much so back for a fill I go.. Christine from Patricks office said yesterday that when I go for my fill a group of people from Amercia will be there and my fill might get recorded on video if I agree, because apparently Patricks way of a Fill is different to others. That will be very exciting, hopefully I won't be to off my head on drugs. LOL.. Well today is a new day and I am putting the last week behind me and focusing on the goal ahead. MY GOAL WEIGHT...

** 29th October 2007 **
Well what a weekend.. Friday night - dinner with my fellow bandid Jenny and her man, check out pics on Lap Band Friends page.. Saturday night - Melissa & Dave's Engagement Party.. What an awesome night!! I can not wait till the 1st March for the Wedding, gotta keep moving my butt so I lose enough weight in time, cause I have already ordered the bridesmaid dress now so I have to be a size 14/16 by March in order to fit into the dress... I'M UP FOR THE CHALLENGE!!! Well the weight is falling off again, which I am very happy about.. and I have been working my butt off again, so I should be losing, have lost another 3 kilos this week.. On Sunday Michael and I went for a 20km walk, that was good, I only winged to him after about 10km.. LOL... Sorry Michael... It was hot and there were flies everywhere, my feet hurt and my back hurt! But I was glade when it was over, but happy we did it... Stupid me didn't put on sunscreen so I am now burnt on my neck and a bit on my face.. Tommorrow night I have support group at The Valley should be good, and on Thursday I have a fill with Patrick.. Which I am looking forward to ALOT!! Cause I am having to use so much brain power and control not to eat everything lately. So I will be happy with another few mils in the band.. Mum is doing great, she has been going for walks in the morning and night and doing really well, she has already lost like 7 or 8 kilos I think, and she is already getting comments from people about the change in her face! YEAH!! I am very excited for her.... Well November is going to be a busy busy month, looks like I am doing a fun run, a team triathlon and then Band Camp.. I am looking to Band Camp so much, and for those of you who don't know we are having a social event on the Saturday night, it's free for any bandsters to come.. If anyone wants to come email me for details!! COME ON COME AND MEET EVERYONE!! It will be great!! What else ..... Oh.. Me and the girls at work are doing 1000 steps every Monday straight after work now and today we managed to con our boss (THANK YOU EDDIE) into buying us tops with the company details printed all on them for us to walk in, so if anyone sees us at the 1000 steps on Monday nights say 'Hi' to my big butt as it slowly gets up those god dam steps... :) Hope everyone is doing well in their journey of a healthier, happier them :) xo

** 1st November 2007 **
What have I learnt in the last 24 hours.. ??
You can't trust anyone! People lie, people deceive you, people are cruel!!
I won't go into it anymore than that.. Other than for once in my life I finally get it!! I finally understand that you can rely on one person and one person only - YOURSELF! Thankfully for the first time ever I didn't eat when I was going through the situation, I am angry, I am mad, I want to run 10km and punch the crap out of a punching bag... Sorry Andy but you are in for it tonight, got a fill today which I am really happy out..
Well there you go, there is my update...
My new motto - DO IT FOR YOURSELF, CAUSE NO ONE ELSE COUNTS!!
(except you Mummy xo)
Be strong, Be tough, don't let people walk all over you, don't get screwed, don't let yourself be open to get hurt by others.. The world is full of ASSHOLES!!!
Working hard to lose the weight for MYSELF :)

** 2nd November 2007 **
Had my fill last night, and I definatley no longer need to take a sedative, I am so used to the needle now, it doesnt even hurt of phase me anymore, had 2 mils put in, so I now have 7 mls in 10ml band. Which I think is great. Restriction is really really good, and I think the fill will give my weight loss another boost and kick, so I will be double figures in no time!! After fill went and had a session with Andy which was great!!
Need a holiday bad this week, can't wait for Band Camp to just get away. People keep quiting at work, clients are wankers and other issues are fucking with my head and making me all stressed! but I'm not eating, which is the main thing...
But I need to get away and have a break!!!!
This weekend got training with Andy and then Sunday helping Aimee (fellow bandid) sell sausages to help kids..

** 5th November 2007 **
What a Monday... So happy that tomorrow is Melbourne Cup and we get the day off work. YEAH!!! Went for a walk after work tonight and started jogging heaps more, it was awesome.. However I got lost, I have lived in the area for almost 2 years and ended up in the backstreets and couldn't find my way out.. He he, so I ended up walking for over an hour which was good.. I jogged my little heart out!! YEAH!!
Well food wise... Since my fill I can definately 100% feel the restriction, I can't really seem to keep much solids down, so I am just doing mushies at the moment, but I am definately not hungry, which is all I care about. Of course I am taking my vitamins to make sure I dont get sick or run down, but I am trying to eat good mushies with veges and meat to get all the right stuff into me.. No other real news.. I went shopping on Friday night with Belinda, and I finally understand why people like shopping, cause it is awesome when you can find things that fit and dont have to pay a fortune for them... It was a new experience and I loved it.. Looking forward to Band Camp at the end of the month, it will be a great weekend, the weekend prior to that I am doing the triathlon, I have to run 2km, which should be good :) Got a wedding this weekend, and another the following weekend, but will make sure I find time to train for my run.

** Oaks Day Eve **
YEAH today is like a Friday, I have off tomorrow to go to Oaks Day and then Friday off to go away for the weekend for Michael's cousins Wedding.. I am so looking forward to having 4 days off from work, will be a good break! :)
Tonight I went to the group session with Andy and then also did Personal training afterwards, it was awesome, Andy made me jog around the running track to prepare me for my 2km run in the Triathlon with Aimee and Freya.. And after tonight, I am so positive that I will be able to do it without a doubt.. YEAH TO ME!!
Thanks to everyone, family, friends and strangers that have emailed or text me today about my photos for the month, because I look at myself everyday, I honestly don't see the changes that much, but when I hear it from so many people it is very motivating to keep going :) SO THANKS!!! Well less than 12 weeks to the Wedding, which is SOOOOOOOO SCARY!! I have already bought the dress so just gotta work my butt off to try and make sure I fit into it.. Can't wait till the Wedding it will be one of the best days of my life, Melissa and I have dreamt and talked about our Wedding day our entire lives, its awesome, can't wait!
Oh... and how can I forget to all the ladies at Mum's work who were checking out my pics today, thanks for your nice comment about how SMALL MY ASS has got!! YEAH... Great to see you are noticing.. HE HE.. Make sure Mum behaves at work and if she gets anything stuck and needs to spew give her heaps of crap like she does to me.. HE HE...
Off to Oaks Day tomorrow - will try and not drink much alcohol - otherwise all my running around tonight was a waste, and yes I will wear sunscreen this year, unlike last year when I looked like a lobster. After my loss on Cup Day I better win back some money tomorrow.

** 11th November 2007 **
I'm back........ Oaks was awesome, Queenscliff was awesome, sunny and beautiful, Wedding was very nice, and I am back home......Will detail more later, very tired :) he he.

** 15th November 2007 **
God I have been slack this week with my Journal.. But I have been so god dam busy at work!! and by the time I get home, exercise and eat slowly I am so tired.. Well the weekend was great, came back to ALOT of work, so up to date again now.. Last night I have PT session with Andy and then I stayed after that and did Boxing, it was awesome.. Still be walking and jogging at night which is good, I really need to find some strength to get up early in the morning and go for a morning jog or walk, but just so tired.
Food has been very frustrating the last few weeks since fill.. I am still getting pain alot, no spewing, but pain and can't really eat much solid food unless I chew heaps.. Which is disappointing at times, but on the same hand I dont want to go see Patrick yet, cause it will probably help and give my weight loss a boost! So not worried at all. What else has been happening!!! Not a great deal, working, exercising, Dad is in hospital had double hip replacement OUCH!! and been organising Wedding and Hens stuff with Melissa and Sarah, which I can't wait for.. It will be awesome!! I am so worried it is only 3 1/2 months till the wedding, and I HATE my fat arms. :( I am going to go try and dress on early January and make sure I am getting close! I am so nervous about it, but it is great incentive, when I dont feel like exercising, I just say to myself 'Do you want to look hot at the wedding - the answer of cause being YES.' Mum is doing great, for those of you who know my Mum I think we have all been telling her for about 20 years to get a boob reduction, and OMG her boobs are just disappearing, she is very excited, she's lost over 10kgs already, but she is not weighing herself! but you can tell from her clothes and face that she has lost already, its great!! Can't wait for us both to get to our goals :)

** 20th November 2007 **
God I have been slack with my journal lately.. Sorry everyone! Not much to report though to be honest. Apart from can I just say SHIT IT IS HOT!!! My restriction seems to be getting a bit better this week, have been able to eat a bit more solid food, but I am really not eating alot still, but what I am eating is good quality so thats the main thing and I am getting enough Im sure. Exercise has been much the same, pretty much doing it alone in the exercise department now apart from Wednesday night sessions with Andy and Monday night 1000 steps with girls from work which we are starting next week. So currently doing Monday 1000 steps, Tuesday Aqua at Kilsyth, Wednesday PT with Andy and boxing class with Andy, Thursday Aqau at Kilsyth, Friday jog around streets, Saturday group session, Sunday something different and exciting every week. For me exercise is so fun and rewarding still, which is great!! What else is news......... Oh. I know I went through and did some deleting on the weekend, of a number of users that I used to hang out with, alot of dickhead men but a few chicks, most I haven't seen for ages, and I really never want to see again, but it was a great feeling.. Being obese I think I always thought I need to grab whatever friends I can because hey Im the fat girl, and I dont want to not have friends.. But my motto now, STUFF THEM! Mum is doing GREAT, she is a star! She has lost a fair amount, she is not weighing herself cause she doesnt have scales, and for her its not about just losing kilos, its mainly about becoming healthy and making sure she doesnt have a stroke.. Well no other news really.. Hope everyone is doing well with their journey.. Christmas is getting closer and closer which is very exciting :) BRING ON DECEMBER, the month everyone is happy and cheerful and nice, even feral clients.. He he

** 23rd November 2007 **
Good week, lost 1.7 kilos, which I was very pleased about. The food side of things seem to have settled which I am very happy with, still very tight but I am starting to be able to eat solids again! YEAH! Had a big weekend, and way too many late nights, hence why I got a migrane and now have the cold I think.. :( Hoping to fight off the cold before Sunday for the triathlon.. Looking forward to Sunday, it will be an awesome day, will post pics when I get home, if I can walk. Three weeks till I make my special appearance at Epworth Private to talk about Lap Band in front of prospective patients, I am really looking forward to it. One week till Band Camp!! YEAH!!! I can't wait, it will be the best weekend, will be awesome. For those of you in other states or unable to come check out my site when we get back as I will post as many pics as possible.
Mum is doing very well, she is exercising every day, and has lost so much of her boobs, and double chin HE HE.. and her tummy. She is due for her first fill in 2 weeks.. Not much else happening... Busy organising Hens Weekend away for Melissa! Which will be FANTASTIC!! I can't wait I am so looking forward to it. Will be awesome! I am rushing to try and get rid of my fat arms for the wedding, I think I should be right with the dress a bit concerned about my fat arms hanging out hence all the weights I am doing to try and get rid of them. On the countdown to the wedding, not long to go now :)

** 25th November 2007 **
Triathlon was AWESOME... Best day ever.. It was so much fun.. I saved some fuel in the tank for a good sprint home... Thanks to the best personal trainer in the world, Andy for teaching me to run, breath and save enough for a flying finish.. All the girls did so well, it was amazing. Awesome group of people. Can't wait to find another Triathlon to be a part of, if anyone knows of any before Xmas please email me. Band Camp at the end of the week - WOO HOO... YEAH

** 28th November 2007 **
Hi everyone, well have had a very busy week exercising. After the triathlon on Sunday I wasn't too sore, went to 1000 steps with the girls from work, and did water aerobics last night with Mum.. 1000 steps was great, fastest I've ever done them :) Thanks work girls for pushing me. And there were some mega hot footballer bodies to stare at LOL... Mum is a star, she is 6 weeks post op and has lost over 12 kilos already, Lap Band has changed both our lives so much for the better. I can't wait for our family to all be healthy and happy. She is a star, she did water areobics last night with me which was fun and relaxing. Got personal training tonight with Andy and then off to Band Camp on Friday for the weekend, for a FANTASTIC time no doubt. It will be awesome, check out photos on Sunday night :) Well Christmas is around the corner, which pre band meant eating everything in sight, cause that was what Christmas was all about, NOT this year, we are having a cold Xmas lunch, which we haven't done for years and it is more about getting together for the day, than lets eat until we can't move.. On the countdown for my goal weight, can't wait to get there, I think I will cry and it will be the best moment of my life!
Everything else is going well, work is good.. well most of the time, but the main thing is I love my job and have no problems with going to work everyday, and I love the people I work with. Hope everyone is going well.
On Monday night I am GUEST SPEAKER at Epworth Private Box Hill for the informaiton session about Lap Band, I am a bit nervous but for those of you who know me I talk ALOT and never really shut up, so I am sure I will be fine :)

** 2nd December 2007 ** CHECK OUT PHOTOS ON BAND CAMP PAGE!
Band Camp is finished... What a weekend, arrived at Camp Friday afternoon and we settled in then did some boxing.. Followed by a lovely dinner and a chat.. Saturday we were up early working out butts of running up this awesome hill... LOVE IT! All the girls were so determined and everyone pushed everyone through every exercise. What a bunch of great people which all deserve nothing but SUCCESS... Saturday night was great 'WHAT IS SAID AT BAND CAMP STAYS AT BAND CAMP - LOL' We had three great guest speakers all of who everyone got at least one thing out of.. Sunday was a nice relaxing workout and then home for a relaxing night... ABSOLUTELY AWESOME WEEKEND, WELL DONE ANDY YOU SHOULD BE VERY PROUD OF WHAT YOU ORGANISED... Well I now have a new bunch of Lap Band friends, good luck to all you girls, stay strong and determined and remember help is always a phone call away if you ever need it, we all need support :)

** 3rd December 2007 **
Tonight I was Guest Speaker at Patricks Information Session, it was a fantastic experience. I was a bit nervous, but for those of you who know me, I really enjoy talking, so I knew I'd be ok.. LOL... I spoke about how I became so overweight to begin with, challenges I faced being so overweight, why I wanted Lap Band, and then my experience with Lap band, things I've now been able to do eg marathon, and things still to come, eg. sky diving... Got fantastic feedback from people thinking about having it done which was great.. Many of them asked questions and talked to me after. Most of them also have this site to look at.. so if you are one of those people thank you for listening to my story and good luck in your journey... If you want it enough, the band will hope you so much you won't believe, and it will change your life for the better forever.. I saw so many people who had the face I had when I went for my information session, a face of desperation, a face showing a sign that they were at their wit ends, and deep down a face of determination to lose weight and improve their life for them... A rep from Johnson and Johnson was there who asked if he can use my before and after photos and story and if I'd like to maybe do some TV or newspaper articles... What do you think my response was 'HELL YES :)'
If anyone has any questions at all, please email me, I can honestly not highly recommend Lap Band enough to help you to beat the demon and win the battle of being obese forever.

** 10th December 2007 **
OMG its been a week since I last made an entry, sorry everyone.. Well whats been happening.......... Exercising my butt off, still doing something pretty much every single night, the weight is still coming off every week. On the countdown towards Xmas now, work is getting a bit quieter which is good :) This weekend, I spent the weekend in the City with my new fella, that's right I have a fella... :) :) :) I am very very very very happy.. We went to Crown for dinner, saw Kevin Bloody Wilson, walked about 20 kms on Saturday and about 10km on Sunday.. It was awesome. It is great to finally feel like walking everywhere and trying new things and just having fun. Was the best weekend in a very long time. Because Christmas is approaching I am seeing lots of people I haven't seen in a while, which of course is also fantastic, cause I'm getting the OMG COMMENTS, which I always love.. Mum is doing great, she is a STAR, losing lots, although she is not weighing herself and she is walking everynight.. I am so proud of my Mum, she is the best!! And it seems alot more people are jumping on the Lap Band wagon since seeing the success. Another family in law member is now looking at getting it down aswell. Which is great.. I honestly can not talk highly enough of Lap Band and Patrick :)

Pics from work Christmas Party (8th December) at Rod Laver

** 17th December 2007 **
Good Morning Everyone... WOO HOO, the last Monday for work for the year... On the count down, only 5 days of work left and then a nice break.. Have lost an awesome amount of 2.1 kilos in the last 4 - 5 days, which I am loving, trained pretty hard with Andy this week, and did a few jogs around the streets, went to Lilydale Lake and also did a new experience of Horse Riding this Saturday with the girls from work. It was awesome, a great experience, but not one I necessarily need to undertake again.. LOL.. Apart from all the exercise, I've been catching up with alot of people for Christmas stuff and finishing shopping. Mum is looking FANTASTIC, and finally I have new pics of her, check out Mum's page :) My man is very very good, he is awesome, I am very very happy. He is the nicest guy I think I've ever met and whenever we are together all we do is laugh, which apparently burns calories so that is good too. Food intake has been really good last week, there were a few days I thought I need another fill, but it was definately head hunger, for whatever reason, more than actually physically being hungry, so that seems to have passed now which is great..

** 19th December 2007 **
Only 6 days till Christmas... YEAH!
What a crazy time Christmas is, it is mad! NUTS! People that you haven't seen all year want to catch up and everyone has Chritmas parties and get togethers days before Christmas its nuts. Been flat out, trying to wrap everything up at work, so I can go away on holidays and actually relax for once, even though I am still on call for emergencies. My exercising schedule unfortunately has been suffering due to all the events on at the moment, I am still trying to do at least 20 - 30 minutes walk a day, but finding the time at the moment seems to be the battle.. But I suppose we still have to live. Lap Band is not another diet, it is a change of lifestyle, and a lifestyle that you have to adapt to for the rest of your life, and there are times when you just have to say stuff it, I will exercise tomorrow.. My food intake is still always healthy and very minimal so I am still losing weight. And as of next week when Im on holidays Im sure we will be doing lots of exercising, and walking. I hope you all have checked out the pics of my Mum, how good does she look.. She is going to be a HOT MUMMA very soon xoxox... You can tell so much how much she has lost, where has her tummy and butt gone?? Its awesome. I'm sure this Christmas for once we will take LOTS AND LOTS of photos, cause for once we won't mind being in photos.. The photo of Mum and I on her page is from Christmas day, I am going to try and take an identical photo, same spot in the house so you can all see them side by side, should look very very different.

** 8th January **
I'm back........ What a time I've had.. Where do I start. Break up from work was awesome, drunk a bit too much.. LOL... Christmas day was fantastic, for the first time ever Mum and I had lots of photos, which was exciting, cause I have always wanted to be one of those families that have photos from every Christmas. Luke (my boyfriend lol) came to Christmas dinner and then I went to his parents house.. Everyone got to meet him, and they all like him. I got absolutely stunning earrings from him for Christmas, gold dangly earings with diamonds - VERY NICE!! I didn't spew Christmas day which was a bonus. I found it really funny that every Christmas day we always have enough food to feed about 3 times the amount of people that are there, why is that? and I am sure that every family does exactly the same. As usual I overloaded my plate with way too much food had 2 mouthfulls and then was full. Luke and I left on Boxing Day to go to Lakes Entrance for 6 days, was the best holiday EVER! I did everything I have always wanted to do, we went swimming, body boarding, fishing, on cruise boats, heaps of walks, hired a boat and we went on a little plane over the Lakes was stunning!! oh and we went to the Buchan Caves. Was the best holiday ever! We get along very well, and he is a fitness freak like me so it is good, cause we are both always thinking of new things to do to be active, and always want to eat healthy foods.
My restriction is still pretty good, if I have to change anything this month I would say it would be to cut back on Low Fat Savoys etc. cause as we all know they go straight through, so that would be the only thing I would like to change, everything else is pretty good. I am still losing I think from the 22nd December to last Sunday I'd lost about 2.4 kilos so I thought that was pretty good for the Silly Season. But I did eat healthy and try and do some form of exercise, but way too much ALCOHOL.. Suprise, suprise LOL.
Mum is doing great, she has spewed a bit, but not too much, still losing.. And Mum if you are reading this, buy some new clothes tight ass... She keeps taking in her clothes cause she wants to wait a bit longer before she buys new clothes and I keep telling her to buy new stuff. LOL.. Love u mum xo.
My exercise schedule is full steam ahead for this first quarter of the year, I have Melissa's Wedding coming up and also my 12 month band anniversary in April, so I want to have a good stab at my goal weight by my Birthday hopefully. I have put my new schedule on my exercise page.
Haven't heard from alot of you for a while, hope you are all behaving. Kim :)

** 11th January 2008 **
Well I can hardly lift my arms above my head today.. Had personal training with Andy last night and because it was so hot we went to a gym.. It was the best workout I've had in a while. We did Cross Trainer, weights, boxing, circuit stuff and lots more, sweated heaps, it stung, it hurt, and I wanted to cry - Love that feeling LOL... This morning I am feeling great cause my body is all sore :)

** 17th January 2008 **
Well the countdown is almost over.. Tomorrow we leave for Melissa's Hens Weekend.. Which is going to be awesome. We have a limo picking all 12 of us up and driving us to Phillip Island where we have rented a lovely stunning huge house for the weekend. We have heaps organised, everything is of course rude related for the theme :) and I won't mention anything on here incase Melissa reads my plans. :) But it is sure to be a great weekend. I have had to cancell Andy tonight cause I just have so much to organise, but I do plan on exercising still everyday I am away :) and I have promised myself I wont drink too much alcohol. I have lost about 1.2 kilos this week which I am very pleased with, I have hit off another number on the scales, so I probably have about another 20 kgs to lose and then I will be at goal weight.. So hopefully I should be there by April/May 08. Which will be awesome. Hope everyone is going well... Oh I almost forgot my MUM IS A STAR... TODAY SHE GOT TO THE TOP OF THE 1000 STEPS - what an achievement !! MUM YOU ARE THE BEST!!!

** 21st January 2007 **
Another awesome weekend... This Weekend was Melissa's Hens Weekend. OMG it was mad!! As I am the Bridesmaid I had alot of organising to do.. I made penis cakes, chocolates, pinata's, decorations, we had the cups, straws, prizes everything it was awesome. We went to Phillip Island for the weekend and rented a house, which was stunning.. My food side of things was very good - under control, alcohol was another issue LOL... But I told myself before I went, oh well she is your Best Friend and she will only ever have one HENS WEEKEND, so make the most of it.. Well I certainly did, started drinking at about 12noon on Friday and didn't stop till Sunday.. She had a great time and loved the entire weekend, which I am very happy about.. Got back to work today and of course wished I hadn't had a day off with the amount of work :( But ohwell... Back on the exercise wagon again now that I am getting closer and closer to 1. The Wedding and 2. My 12 month band Anniversary.. I am very excited to see if I reach my weight by the 12 months. I have been receiving alot of emails in the last week from people wanting Lap Band.. Keep them coming, I will always make time to answer your questions. Mum is still going strong, and finally she bought some new clothes (about time Mum). LOL.. I was cleaning out my wardrobe tonight and took some very interesting photos for you all to view, they are a laugh, they are of my old clothes, the jeans are a size 24, the skirt and top a size 26, I was wearing all of these 8 months ago... Hard to believe!! I have decided to keep these 3 items and 1 dress to remind me and have a laugh every now and again, about how far I have come, all my other clothes are going bye bye's... I was going to give them to Salvo's but I dont think they really suit the Salvo's LOL... then I was going to give them away... But I thought for once in my life no stuff it, those clothes (all good brands) are worth thousands and thousands of dollars, if I can sell them on ebay for a few hundred I might aswell, cause it is costing me a fortune to buy clothes every 3 weeks, so that's what I am going to do.. I am trying to save money at the moment to buy another house, and have lots of holidays, so every bit will help so I shouldn't just chuck them.. anyways.. .Hope everyone is doing well, enjoy the below pics - have a good laugh I did... and also check out the Hens Weekend pics on the page about My best friends Wedding. ENJOY :)

** 4th February 2008 **
Going through a bad patch at the moment, and hating it... I am so god dam busy it is driving me nuts, no time to exercise, no time to be with friends, no time to do anything but work. It is so busy it is mad!! As part of the rollercoaster of life I am currently on a down ride.. I have put on 1.5 kilos and feel like shit, I can eat way too much, and of course because I am sad and stressed I am eating so much more than I should. :( I rang today and I am booked into see Patrick on Thursday, as I desperately need a fill.. I need to try and make time for myself to exercise but finding it so hard.. Work is very demanding at the moment, thank god I work with lovely people otherwise I think I would lose it, clients can be assholes, I honestly can not understand how another human being can speak to another human being the way I have been spoken to lately.. Some clients just need to be told to go get F*#$ed, but of course if I did that, that wouldn't be very professional.. I am sure I will get over this low, but at the moment, I am just crying :( and feeling sorry for myself :( And of course the demon of over eating still rears its head when I am stressed or sad :(

** 6th February 2008 **
Well I have officially had a melt down, after another shit house day at work, I was suppose to start dance lessons with Melissa, Dave and Luke tonight for the Wedding, but I didnt get out of work till very late, too late to go to dancing and then I sat in the car crying :( I am hating my life right now, I am very thankful to have Luke and Mum and they are the 2 keeping me from having a breakdown right now. I hope the fill with Patrick makes a difference, cause right now I am feeling like a piece of SHIT!!!

** 7th February 2008 **
WOO HOO!! Saw Patrick today and had a fill, already feeling alot more positive.. I read through some of my Lap Band books again, and I am feeling positive, and I have taken the motto of FUCKEM on board (excuse the language), but to clients/customers who want to talk to me like a piece of shit, you will now get hung up on, if not a bit of lip back.. I am sick of being treated like a piece of shit and will no longer take it, I dont believe I should be spoken to like that, because some idiot is having a bad day - not my problem!! WOO HOO.. I am getting balls LOL... I love the feeling of not feeling hungry, I think that was part of my little melt down this week, I lost control of the food side of things.. Now with the help of my guardian angel - PATRICK, I am back in control.

** 9th February 2008 **
WOO HOO! Lost 2.3 kilos since Thursday morning... I LOVE MY BAND.. I love not feeling hungry and being able to eat a few small meals and feel full, it is the best feeling in the entire world!! Doing 5 km jog today and then 1000 steps tomorrow, going to aim to do it twice tomorrow. Oh.. check out site next week, cause I got photos of my last fill and I will upload next week, cause they are on my friends camera who took then. YEAH!! I love feeling in control again it is the best!!

** PHOTOS OF MY FILL - as promised **

** 15th February 2008 **
LIFE IS SUCH A ROLLERCOASTER OF UPS AND DOWNS
On Monday 11th February, my beautiful nephew Mitchell (6 months old) was diagnosed with Luekemia.. :( :( My brother and sister in law as you can imagine are absolutely devastated but being very strong, my Mum and I are crying non stop and we all hate the world at the moment.. Life is a bitch, when you think everything is starting to go right, it all falls to pieces.. I think in the last 4 days I've heard people say 'God only hands out what you can handle'.... GOD - MY FAMILY CAN'T HANDLE ANYMORE!!! Stop giving us this shit !!!! :( Mitchell will be in the Royal Childrens Cancer Ward for a minimum of a month having blood transfusions and chemo..
On a brighter note - weight still going down, but havent been exercising cause no time.. :( But we are all being positive and we know Mitchell is a fighter and he will be fine...

** 19th February 2008 **
Thank you everyone for your warm wishes and thoughts for Mitchell (my nephew).. Above are my photos from my Hot Air Balloon Ride, it was amazing, a wonderful experience, and I am very glade I lost enough weight to be able to do it :)
On a sad note, my poor little nephew is not doing very well... He now has another form of cancer aswell as the Luekemia, which is very rare and only a few people in the world have it.. So he is still fighting strong, having medication and chemo and we can only hope for the best!! Thank you to everyone who has sent emails, your support is greatly appreciated by my brother and his wife and our family. I suppose this is all part of the rollercoaster of life, but at the moment our family is hating life, life is cruel and unfair to little babies :(

** 27th February 2008 **
What a rollercoaster life is at the moment, so many good things happening, so many bad things...
2 sleeps till I am flying to Sydney for Johnson and Johnson for Photo Shoot with New Idea
and
3 sleeps till Melissa's Wedding.
Little Mitchell is still in Royal Childrens having chemo, he is still being such a smiley boy even though he is going through everything he is. People are being so generous with food, money and cards - it is lovely..
So better keep moving, got lots to do before the busy few days.. :) I AM SO EXCITED, can't wait for the Wedding, a bit nervous but it will be a FANTASTIC DAY !! Hope everyone is doing well, haven't heard from some of you in a while :)

** 28th February 2008 **
BYE EVERYONE!!! I am just finishing up at work, and heading out to have my spray tan for the Wedding.. Then tomorrow morning at 7am, flight leaves to Sydney for Photo Shoot with Johnson and Johnson for New Idea... Then back to Melbourne Friday afternoon, over to Melissa's, and then the BIG DAY on Saturday, one of my goals.. TO BE a SIZE 14 for Melissa's Wedding, and walk down the aisle in front of her - WOO HOO!!! I MADE MY GOAL.. Just over 65 kilos lost and a size 14... Bring on 12.. Thanks to everyone for your support over the past 11 months, yes this Tuesday will be 11 months since my band, what a change my life has been.. Will post photos ASAP of Wedding :) BYE FOR NOW :)

** 12th March 2008 **
Update time.. Sorry for delay..
First things first, since this is my site dedicated to Lap Band (LOL) I have lost another 3 kilos in the last 10 days, which I am very very happy with. I have been eating well and exercising.
Now the good stuff :)
The Photo shoot with New Idea went really really well, Johnson and Johnson will let me know the week before it is going to be coming out, it is going to be on 4 people who have had Lap Band and their success. It was such a great day, had my hair done, my make up, they told me what to wear, had nice jewellery, it was awesome.. And being a model and having heaps of photos taken of yourself is god dam hard work, smile, smile, smile, turn this way, move your arm, up, down, to the right, no back!! Tiring :) LOL. But it was a great experience, one I am sure I will never forget.
NOW THE BEST - The Wedding....
The day went so so quick, the day started at 7am, when the flowers were delievered, then we had nothing to do till 12.30, cause we are so organised we sat around bored, so Melissa ate chocolate for breakfast (he he - had to put that in), and we washed her car in our PJ's, yes we washed her car the day of the wedding.. We honestly couldnt understand the fuss and stress of the morning. Then hair and make up ladies arrived, then it was non stop, getting ready, get in the car and off to the Beach. When we pulled up I thought I was going to spew, I had never walked in front of so many people starring at you, as Mum said, Kim they aren't looking at you, you are not the bride (smart ass Mum) it was a new experience to be starred up and not completely hate the way I look. I am still not happy totally with the mould, but I am still working. :) But Melissa looked absolutely STUNNING!!! AMAZING!! BREATHLESS!! She truly looked like the most beautiful bride I have ever seen, she didnt take the smile off her face all day. It was great to see her and Dave so in love and happy. I drunk too much - whats new ! LOL. But as I say, you gotta live, and someone has to be entertaining :)
Sad news :(
Still no news on Mitchell, his photo was in the Sunday Herald Sun last week advertising Good Friday appeal, he looks so cute, he doesnt even look sick... :( Tomorrow more tests. But he is still in hospital, and fighting...Enjoy some more pics of wedding and some of beautiful boy Mitchell. :)

Me, Melissa & Sarah
Getting ready to go

Beautiful Boy Mitchell with his Daddy and Mummy in Royal Childrens

** 31st March 2008 **
Hi Everyone, sorry as usual I am just finding it harder and harder to make entries.. Well yesterday was the Marathon Run for the Kids. It was a great day, started off really cold, which of course we warmed up really quick.. 11 of us from work did the Run together. There was about 30,000 people that did it, what a great way to raise money for the Royal Childrens Hospital.. Of course beautiful boy Mitchell is still in there..
I am very excited this week as my 12 month Band Anniversary is this Friday 4th April.. It is hard to believe it is 12 months already, the time has gone so so quick. It is still the best decision I have ever made in my entire life. I am so happy with my choice and happy with my results of the 12 months. It will be about a 70 kilo weight loss in 12 months, I have about another 10kgs I would like to lose, would love to lose it before my 25th Birthday which is April 29th, but we will just see how I go.. Ideally I said 18 months originally, so if it takes that long, then I am happy with that..
I am still on the look out to do more runs and things I have never done before. Luke and I went on a 15km Bike Ride last weekend, which was interested. I hadn't ridden a bike for about 10 years, but I picked it up pretty quickly, just had to remember how to balance again LOL.
We are looking at going canoeing soon, cause I have always wanted to do that, then we want to go camping, and then all I pretty much have left off my list, is JUMP OUT OF A PLANE and GET A TATTOO... WOO HOO.. Then of course the big challenge the KOKODA TRAIL! :)
For all those Lap Band people our there who are in Melbourne, I would love to organise a FUN RUN day, where we could all meet somewhere fantastic and do a 5km walk and then a bit size lunch, and some activities, and meet each other.. If anyone would be interested in this email me at k.williams83@bigpond.com because I am happy to do the organising but only if people would definately come. It doesnt matter where you are at as far as exercising, I promise it will be do able!! I will carry you LOL...

** 4th April 2008 **
12 Month Band Anniversary..
Well what a year... 12 months and approximately 70 KILOS LIGHTER!! Yes 70!! OMG I can't believe it myself.. I would never have dreamed I would lose that much weight in 12 months.. My life is finally what I have always wanted, I am happy and healthy! It is a great feeling. It is nice to get out of bed each day and not feel tired instantly. It is nice to be at work and enjoy going to appointments and getting out and not wanting to sit on my butt all day and watch it get bigger..
I will admit, I have had ups and downs in the last 12 months, as you all probably know. There has been tears and smiles, being morbidly obese you still have head issues with food - food controlled my life for so many years, and when you are used to using a drug for every emotion it is very hard to change.. If you think having Lap Band is easy, it is not.. It is simply a tool to help you lose weight, but only if you work with it..
Thank you to everyone for you support and encouragement over the past 12 months.
I have about another 12 kilos until I will be 100% happy. So I hope to be at goal by end of Financial Year 08. WOO HOO.
For my 12 month anniversary Luke, Mum, Dad and I went out for dinner and celebrated. ENJOY :)
For those of you who are going to Andy's next Band Camp and have emailed me, YES I AM COMING :) See you all there :)

** 17th April 2008 **
Hi everyone, hope you are all well.. Well after a bit of a sitting in weight, it is finally moving off again.. But I have now told Luke to hide the scales so I don't go on the scales everyday and being obsessed about numbers like I was.. My size 14 pants at work are falling off me and I can't wait to get my size 12 suit for work.. AWESOME!! Everyone is commenting it is starting to show in my face again, a huge difference, and I have been making an effort to see friends I haven't in awhile, awesome feedback.. Exercise wise, I am doing alot of walking with Luke, weights with Luke, and then gym with the girls from work and PT with Andy. I just have to try and do something every single day for an hour at least, if I stop I find I miss it and then feel crap but if I keep pushing everyday I feel great. I have my next checkup with Patrick on 28th April, one day before my Birthday, so that will be good - haven't seen him in awhile so will be interesting to see what he says. A few updates about my goals, a few people have been asking.
TATTOO - Is booked in, but not telling when, will tell you when done, don't want Mum to know LOL...
SKY DIVING - About 12 kilos to go till I do that
LITTLE BLACK DRESS - just gotta buy one and take that photo
SHOPPING SPREE - when I get to goal weight
GLAMOUR PHOTO SHOOT - Booked in for middle of May
How exciting !! I cant wait to do everything..
Mum is still going strong, losing lots, exercising and looking great!! She is a STAR!! Mitchell is still fighting his battle and in Royal Childrens, he is coming home most weekends now, cause Chemo treatment isn't done on the weekends, so it is nice for us to all be able to see him at home on weekends.
Food Wise - I am going strong, not eating any crap, I now realise if I want a taste of something nice eg. chocolate, well have it Kim! I just eat 1 or 2 squares and then I am satisfied, the old Kim would have eaten the entire block. Work is good - bit quiet but everyone is going well and I always love going to work everyday.
Mum and I are doing the MOTHERS DAY CLASSIC FUN RUN, which will be awesome to do together - Cant' wait..
Talk soon everyone.. xo

** 28th April 2008 **
Tomorrow is my 25th Birthday... YEAH
Today I had my 12 month check up with Patrick.. He was VERY happy with my results to date, and I liked to stir him up and tell him how much more I want to lose.. LOL.. I don't have to go back for another 4 months, at which time I have 100% GUARANTEED HIM - I WILL BE AT GOAL WEIGHT BY THEN.. :)
Beautiful boy Luke took me away for the long weekend to Balgownie Winery and Spa Resort for my Birthday, it was AWESOME! See pics below. Not long now until the next Lap Band Camp, Mothers Day Classic Marathon (8km) which I am making Mum do with me, and Tattoo. WOO HOO..

** 1st May 2008 **
Hi everyone... Well my 25th Birthday was a quiet one, but my first since the age of 7 that I've been a healthy weight, which is great!! For once I had a Birthday and thought to myself ' Shit I am healthy, I won't die before I am 30 from being overweight. Its a great feeling. Verity from work and I joined Croydon Gym and have been going to night classes for a few weeks, and Luke has been coming to some aswell. We have been doing Body Pump, THT, Low Impact and trying some others, it is awesome fun being able to keep up with fit people in the room.. Still continuing to lose weight, some weeks I only lose a little then I will have a really good week and lost a few kilos.. I have about another 10 - 15 kgs to lose until I will be really positively happy with my weight. A few of you have emailed me about my article.. It is now going to appear it Thats Life Magazine and its still another 2 months or so away - which is a bummer cause I will be at goal hopefully by then.. But it is still worthwhile and I am happy I did it.. A few of you have also asked about a daily food and exercise diary of what I eat and do, I am going to try and do this on a new page, will start it tomorrow, hope it helps those of you who asked for it:) No news on Mitchell :( At the moment he is too sick to have anymore Chemo so he has to try and get better himself before he can start the next session of medicine. Life is a bitch and very cruel to little babies, but our family is very strong and we will survive and fight through this! I am starting to get through clothes again, and throwing out more and more every week, which although is a great feeling is very frustrating and starting to leave a real hole in my wallet and a debt on my credit card, but well worth it :) Enjoy some Birthday pics below from my Birthday Dinner. Keep the emails coming.

Me & Mum (I love my Mum)

** 13th May 2008 **
Morning everyone, well what a weekend!!.... Had a very busy weekend, personal training on Saturday aswell as Circuit at the gym.. Sunday (Mothers Day) started very very early in the morning, we were off by 6am for the Mothers Day Classic.. I was so nervous waiting for it to start and all I could think was I have to make it.. Otherwise Andy will kick my butt LOL... We were off after 200metres I thought holly shit I am going to die, then I remembered I needed to breath properly like Andy taught me. Luke left me at about the 2km marker when I had drunk too much water and decided to have a quick spew so I could keep going - I am all CLASS!! ;) So I completed the 8km run in 56 minutes, YEAH!! That is the longest I have ever run, then we went and found our Mum's who hadn't started the 4km yet, so then we did the 4km with them aswell. WE ARE NUTS!! Enjoy the pictures below.. Not long until Band Camp now can't wait to meet you all that keep emailing me..

Here are some funny photos Luke and I took - the jeans and jumper are what I worse when I first had Lap Band LOL...

** 17th May 2008 **
Mum - YOU ARE NAUGHTY!!!
Yesterday afternoon my Mum collapsed at work, after not eating enough food for the day, she fainted and ended up being taken to hospital in an ambulance... Naughty Naughty.. Her blood sugar dropped to low and she fainted and then also got a migrane.. This is a lesson to all Lap Band people - if you can't eat solid food - your band is TOO TIGHT!!!
Mum didn't know (but I am sure she will now) I was actually booked in to have a red rose tattoo at 5.30pm yesterday, the day she fainted, so I had to cancell that. I was having a red rose done because my Nana who died 1 year ago on the 15th May loved Red Roses, so I now have this funny feeling that this was Nana's way in saying 'YOU ARE NOT GETTING A TATTOO KIMMY' .. I believe in fate and everything happens for a reason, so I have now decided not to have a tattoo.

** 26th May 2008 **
I'm back from Lap Band Camp.. Well what an awesome weekend. It started on Friday afternoon running around with Andy to do some last minute things before going to camp and setting up for the ladies to arrive. I was so suprised when they arrived that so many of them were YOU, the people reading my site.. We had a great shrink talk on Friday, Vanessa, she came last year aswell she is awesome, and has a body to die for, you can tell she has worked very hard for that stunning figure. On Saturday morning we started with a walk to the gate, for some exercise was a new thing, everyone made it and no one died.. LOL.. The one thing I found with all the ladies on the weekend is how strong and determined they all are.. Never give up attitude.. It was awesome to see... We had the dietician on Saturday and she always teaches you something new - I learnt so many new things from her talk, and the cute little boy chef, who was very nervous but talks very very well.. He taught us a great trick.. Cheap crap meat can still be nice and tender just add bi carb soda and water... Love that tip, used it last night and girls - it works... The meat fell apart... Saturday night I had to disappear to Luke's Mum suprise 50th, which was a great night.. On Sunday I left my house at 4.30am to drive back to camp to train again. The entire weekend was awesome, I hope to be involved in many more to come! I love training with other Lap Band people and meeting them and hearing their stories.. I feel all motivated again, so much so that I got up for a 7km jog this morning at 6am - I AM MAD! I LOVE IT.. My goal weight is coming around the corner, and hopefully it will be here soon. Can't wait to go skydiving and have the video on this site for you all to watch, it will be AWESOME!!!! If any of you girls, or any one who has had Lap Band lives in the Outer Eastern suburbs of Melbourne and you want to meet up for a walk once a week, please email me :) Talk soon. Can't wait to see all you 20 ladies from Band camp shrinking over the next 12 months...

** 27th May 2008 **
Been working my butt off since getting home from Band Camp, did a huge run yesterday morning and this morning I did a one hour workout at home, and tonight I have Body Step..
I found these photos today and thought I'd like to see them side by side to see the comparison. Both pics are of Melissa and I..

** 10th June 2008 **
Well after a long weekend, of getting nothing done but being very busy, I need a long weekend to recover... Saw Sex and the City twice, I am nuts!! I loved it!! Still eating really well, there has been a few moments over the past few weeks, where I have not been good :( Not overly bad either, but just eating too much food - and I don't need a fill, its those god dam crackers and crap that goes through.. When I get depressed I eat :( And unfortunately losing over 70 kilos doesn't seem to have changed that part of your head!! This is where I honestly do believe that we Lap Bandids need more support, support groups seem to be falling apart and being cancelled, this is the type of support we do need. I honestly did think that by losing weight, I would instantly be happy all the time and not be sad anymore, I not want to eat when Im sad.. I AM WRONG!! We are human, and we don't change just because of weight.. I just need to try and do other things when I am sad, and remember why would I think food is going to make me feel better, when it made me so overweight and unhealthy! I don't understand why I love food so much, what has it ever done for me that was good!?.... Had a bit of a downer the past few weeks, not really sure why, just stuck in a rut! The last 5 days have been good though, have lost 2.1 kilos, I now have 6.8 kilos or there abouts until I am at goal weight.. When I reach goal weight I will have lost 81 KILOS.. I am aiming to lose this weight by 4th August 2008 :) So I am on the countdown.. Hope everyone is going well with their loss. Mum is still losing and she looks great, so much younger... :) To those of you who emailed me about meeting up for a walk, I think we have about 6 of us within a 20 minute radius of each other, so I am going to organise a walk and meet and greet maybe at Lilydale Lake in a week.. Will email you all the details :)

** 15th June 2008 **
Hi everyone.. No news really. I am about 6 kilos away from goal, and OMG is it dragging... I have set a new goal to be at goal weight by beginning August. Luke and I are going away in August so I want to be at goal before then. Which has to be a given, 2 months, 6 kilos, I should be fine :) Just need to find that exercise bug in me again. Winter is always hardest, it is so cold!! Who wants to get up early and go jogging when bed is so nice and warm. Mum is finding it hard to keep anything down at the moment, she needs a bit taken out I think... MUMMY!!! It was her birthday on Friday 13th, and she looked so good - so healthy, I will put some pics up of her ASAP.. No real news.. Just slowing losing the last bit of weight, and clothes are driving me nuts!! It is so expensive to lose weight LOL..

** 23rd June 2008 **
Another busy weekend... Friday night went out with friends for dinner, Saturday had Personal Training with Andy, and I jogged pretty much non stop for an hour, which was good, but on Sunday, shit was I sore.. Went for a brisk walk on Sunday, followed by heat bags and foot spa.. My body did not like the run LOL.. But no pain no gain!! My back has been hurting alot lately, so going to see someone about it. I can't believe after losing over 70 kilos that my back actually hurts more now that when I was heavy.. AMAZING!! Don't get it.. Weekends are busy at the moment, I am losing track of everything I have committed to.. I have so many things on between friends, family, footy, work, band camp. etc.. BUSY BUSY! But its good.. No one really wanted to go walking on Sunday, which I dont blame you all, it was cold :( LOL but if anyone local to me ever wants to join me for a walk, just shoot me an email, would love to catch up. Had a bit of sweet revenge this Saturday, caught up with some people I haven't seen since losing weight, particularly some males, it was very fun, definately worth it, the look on people's face - it was priceless, made me feel very good :) Told Luke about it all and he laughed! LOL.. Still waiting on magazine to come out, was suppose to be about 2 weeks ago, so waiting on Johnson and Johnson for dates again. Am thinking I need a hobbie other than exercise, it was driving me a bit nuts last week, maybe start up a basketball team or something, something just other than gym and running.. Will see what I can come up with.. Mum is still losing, she is walking everyday and she looks fab!! She has finally been buying some new clothes and she looks great! Mitchell is still fighting and is having another blood transfusion and more chemo this week... Having a beautiful baby like Mitchell in your family so sick SUCKS!! But it makes you realise there are more important things in life, than some of the shit we all worry about.. The fights we have with people, and the things we let upset us.. WHY! Why do we think they are of comparison, to a little boy who is so sick! If you are making a big deal out of something and you can't get it out of your head.. STOP... STOP for 30 seconds and ask yourself if there is someone else in the world suffering more than you, I bet the answer is YES!! Life is too short, have fun, be happy and smile :-)

** 24th June 2008 **
Well, the weight just doesn't seem to be shifting at the moment, am trying to pick up the pace on the exercise front of things.. It is winter, it is so hard to get motivated, I keep trying to think, come on - DO IT, exercise!! but it is so so hard.. Food side of things has been ok, spewed twice in last few days which isn't good. Have been trying to eat a bit too much cause I when I am sad or feral I try and eat!! I must recommend to every Lap Band person out there... 2 teaspoons of Bi Card soda, with 2 teaspoons of water add it to any meat, and OMG you can eat it! It makes it all tender and so easy for us to chew! It is great!! You must all try it if you are stuggling to eat meat especially red meat. I have received so many emails this week from people about being an inspiration - Thank you to you all. I will respond to you all :) Always! It means a great deal to me to get those emails, and I can't believe I am such an inspiration to some people.. It is an amazing feeling. Thank you!!

** 7th July 2008 **
Well..... so much has been happening, it is mad!! Firstly my Pa, who lives with my Mum and Dad got out of the house during the night (he has dementia) and he walked 4 kms down a main road and got hit by a car, he has 7 broken bones in his face, and several stitches, looks terrible.. He is home again now, but getting worse everyday, he has completely lost the plot! My mum THE HERO is looking after him and doing a great job, he isn't eating much anymore and staying in bed lots.. Mitchell has just entered a 50 day program of more Chemo, and he turns 1 NEXT MONTH. Hard to believe he is going to be 1 already :) He is such a cutie!! My brother and sister in laws house was on the market cause they really haven't lived there since Jan when Mitchell got sick .. no bites from Sales side of things, so I have rented it out to a lovely family who I am sure will take care of the house, so last week we packed up their house and its all in storage at Mum and Dads.. I went to Sydney on the weekend for my yearly trip for the Footy, had an awesome time, but I will never go on holidays again without my Luke.. too sad without him :( So with everything that has been going on I have as you can imagine been a tad stressed so my band seems to have tightened itself and I have been on soup only for about 4 days now and lost a few kilos.. LOL.. so now have about 4.3kgs to go.. WOO HOO... So so so close.. SO getting very excited about that.. Still exercising, every 2nd day pretty much now, been too busy.. Starting back water aerobics this week, cause my back hurts so much.. Loving shopping at the moment, been spending up big last few weeks :) But it still shits me that a size 12 or a size 14 is not a standard size.. No wonder girls end up with eating disorders!! How come you can fit into a size 12 in jeans, and then not a size 14 in others, it is mad!!! Sizes should be the same no matter where you are shopping!! When I am in Parliament next I will bring this up!! LOL.. Mum still losing about 1 kg a month which is great! and she looks really good and healthy :)

With my yearly work Awards Night fastly approaching in 2 and a bit weeks, the girls at work and I are getting very very excited. I have been short listed for an award and so has our Department. So we can't wait. I love where I work and love coming to work everyday...

The girls and I are madly dress hunting.. We had a day and night out to go shopping, and for once I enjoyed shopping. Here are some pics

** 11th July 2008 **
Well my article is finally out in That's Life Magazine, what a few days. Getting heaps of calls, emails and texts - Thanks everyone.. Womans Day have also rang and want to do a success story thing aswell to promote the Band, which I am really happy about.. Everyone at work reckons the photo in the article doesnt even look like me anymore and that was only taken in March, but I have lost probably another 14 or so kilos since... So it will be nice to have a fresh photo aswell. I only have a few kilos to go which is really really exciting me, I can not believe I will have lost like 80 something kilos, I just can't get my head around that. ITS MAD!!! How the? Why the? What the? For once in my life I think I will be speechless..LOL.. Which for those of you who know me, is very hard to believe that I can't think of anything to say LOL.. What else.. Size 12 is getting comfortable, it was a bit tight but now comfortable which is good. Exercising still , had a bit of a flu lately so been a bit run down. Got personal training with Andy this weekend, and meeting up with the girls from the first Band Camp on Saturday night for dinner and drinks for our Reunion! Can't wait!!! A few people have emailed me and yes I am coming to August Band camp :) Talk soon - Me xo

OMG - check out the difference I found these pics on my old work computer. Left hand side was 15 months ago, the right hand side a few months ago.. OMG!!

** 14th July 2008 **
Saturday night I had dinner and drinks with the girls from the original band camp from 8 months ago.. OMG, everyone looked fantastic. It was such a great night, a shame that Andy couldn't come :( but us girls had a great time and talked about spewing, getting food stuck, alcohol, clothes, sex, boobs LOL.. It was very funny.. Was great to catch up with everyone and here about their stories over the past 8 months. Below is a photo of us all, beside a photo from band camp, check out the difference :) HOT CHICKS!!!
Sunday morning I went for a walk around Lilydale with Cheryl a local fellow bandid, I love meeting others who are doing the same as myself, she has 3 kids and is married and lives locally. It was so funny to hear one of her kids thinking I am famous because I am on the internet and in a magazine, that just cracks me up.. So after 5kms of non stop walking and talking, Cheryl and I both agreed that there really isn't any support groups out there for our area.
So here is the invitation..

STARTING - AUGUST 10th and on the 2nd SUNDAY OF EVERY MONTH.. You are all invited.. Come meet us at 9am for a walk around Lilydale Lake and then everyone is invited back to my house for coffee and low fat muffins LOL.. I live about 5 mins from the Lake.

What a great way for us locals to meet up chat about everything and exchange stories.. So if you are interested either turn up on the 10th August at 9am at the Boat ramp, or feel free to email me first and have a chat!!

Jackie, Suzette, Kylie, Rhonda and Me

This is the photo from when I went to Sydney for the magazine in March.

** 21st July 2008 **
Well a nice relaxing weekend.. Friday night had Luke's family over for dinner, up eary Saturday morning for PT with Andy, thanks to Eastlink I have now halved the trip it takes me to get to Andy, YEAH!! Paying tax is probably worth it afterall LOL.. What a session it was, we started with a jog, and I can't believe we pretty much talked the entire time, and I was puffed but not too puffed, we stopped half way for me to stretch my back, cause its been giving me heaps of trouble, and once I did that it felt great again and I was able to jog back.. Then we did some boxing, and kicks (My fav is boxing). Then a new challenge, we started with sit ups, crunches and side lifts and then we run up this hill, actually it was more of a climb! LOL.. I was on my hands climbing up the side of this hill in Frankston, then when we got to the top, we ran across and down again, to repeat all the sit ups etc again and then up the hill again, it was heaps of fun.. I am never scared of anything Andy gets me to do, but I did think crap I am doing to fall down this hill, but Andy helped pull me up at the end, and just kept saying do not stand up lean forward and keep walking.. It was pretty funny, but a great session!! This is why I luv Andy so much, if I went for a jog myself there is no way, I would stop after the jog and say to myself awesome lets do some sit ups, crunches and then climb up a hill.. Not a chance, and its not cause I dont want to. I just never think of it.. So great session! THANKS ANDY.
Sunday started with a 5km walk with Cheryl, my new Lap Band Sunday walking buddy. We have been walking on Sundays at Lilydale Lake, we talk about Lap band and family the entire time, and before we know it we have walked 5km's. I think next week I will recommend we talk 10km. And Cheryl really wants to jog - so I might suggest a little, 100m jog and then walk 100m jog and then walk.. If she wants to give it a go..
Sunday night, I went to sleep having a bit of a pain in my stomach, Monday morning and still now 'I AM STUCK' :( I can not stand up straight, I am stuck hunching over, if I hunch or sit down - NO PAIN at all, if I stand.. holly crap- it kills. The only way to describe the pain is it feels like the band has a kink in it, or is stuck like on a bone or something. I am no surgeon so I dont know, but to me that's what it feels like. I have had this a few times, once I went to Patrick and he said it was strange and odd (suprise, suprise - story of my life LOL), other times, I just sip some green tea and put a heat pack on and away it goes, currently it is 11am, and I have been stuck since about 6am.. Have reheated heat pack over and over again, no luck. Will give it till lunch time and then might have to call Patrick and see what he says.. So I am working from home today in bed sitting up, very relaxing cause it doesnt hurt if I am sitting, but stand up and OMG!! PAIN!!! PAIN!!! So will post again later and let you know outcome. I'm sure it is nothing, and its just a hiccup along the road, still 100% worth it :) :)

2.50pm
No real change, off to see Patrick now! Will let you all know the outcome, I'm sure it's nothing...

6.00pm
Home from seeing Patrick. He doesnt know what it is yet.. Might be gallstones, might be pancretitis or something to do with the band - maybe. So he sent me downstairs for a blood test :( Dam I didnt have valium, but I was very brave - FOR ONCE!! Luke was with me, I didnt cry, just covered my eyes.. So I will find out tomorrow what it is I suppose. If the pain is still there tonight Patrick suggested I not eat or drink so I can have an ultrasound to check everything.. So duno.. we will see. Still stuck hunched over at the moment, but I am still able to eat and drink fluids, so I suppose that is one thing. Time will tell I suppose.. I am sure Patrick will fix me up :) Thank you Patrick and Christine..

** 23rd July 2008 **
Well still no outcome on what the pain is unfortunately.. Patrick rang yesterday and blood tests didnt show it was Pancretitis, so that is one thing ruled out. But it could still be gallstones, so gotta go and have an xray or ultrasound I think Patrick said.. So hopefully once I get that done I might get some answers.
Pain wise it comes and goes, Monday was definately the most severe, other than that it comes for a few hours and then goes away. I have noticed yesterday though it seems to hurt a bit more when I eat, and not a normal lap band pain from food, its different, bit hard to describe.. So we will just wait and see.

** 24th July 2008 **
Well still no answers unfortunately. Yesterday I had an ultrasound to check for gallstones and I had an xray to check the band, Patrick will give me a call when he has the results..
May I just say that crap they make you drink for the xray to see the band is the most feral thing I have ever tasted in my life and it makes me gag everytime I have had it. That stuff should not be drunk it is FERAL!!! I am feeling sick just thinking about it.. :(
The internet is a wonderful thing, I have been posting on the Lap Band sites of what symtoms I have had and a few people have come back with suggestions based on what they have had which is great.. Thanks for that.. The pain is just weird in my opinion, last night was agony for like 2 hours, then today no pain at all, I have worked out I think when I eat it irritates it and at night it is worse. So I will get back to everyone when I have some answers but got none at this stage :)

**** RESULTS ARE IN ****
My lap band has slipped :( I have to go and see Patrick tomorrow morning and have all the fill taken out, and then have the band taken out and replaced ASAP, probably next 1 -2 weeks, but I have to find out more and chat with Patrick about it tomorrow morning when I go see him.
The first thing I did when I hung up the phone was CRY :( It was so hard to have the first operation, all those needles and hospital smells, now I have to go through it again!! I am a sook I know.. But god shit crap poo dam... Trust me to have a slippage!!

ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHh

** 26th July 2008 **
Well tonight is the night of all nights for us at work.. Its like the Real Estate version of the Brownlow our Awards Night. I am in the top 3 for Property Manager of The Year and my Department is up for Department of the Year too. Nothing could stop me from going tonight. I am feeling so much more positive today about my slippage. A wise friend of mine reminded me this morning that when I first had my band put in last year, after I had lost 20 kilos I said to them. Having Lap Band is the best thing I have ever done, I have already lost more than I ever have in my life, if I had to get it replaced every year I would.. I do remember saying it since I was reminded. And it is true. I have lost over 70 kilos, how could I not be happy. I love my band. I do not want to give it up for anything, so if I end up having to have the operation every 12 months I would, because I have tried thousands of diets of the years and nothing has ever worked, the band has saved my life, I will be in debt for the rest of my life to my band, my tool, my partner in a healthy life for the rest of my life. So I am feeling good, it is just another chapter if my life, and I will be fine, I will be healthy and fit forever, and I will jump out of that plane very very soon  Thank you so much to all of you who have sent my well wishes, the fact that so many people support me and that I inspire others (which I never thought would happen) makes me very happy. Whenever I feel upset about why my band, why me, why do I have to have surgery again, I am going to look at my 2 very important photos I have put in my room, 1) The photo of myself at my biggest 160 kilos, 2) A photo of my beautiful nephew – Mitchell. How could I possibly feel sorry for myself, when he is not even 1 year old and has leukemia, has been in hospital since January and has chemo non stop. What a joke, that I would think I am in a bad position! So I will be smiling at all times for those 2 reasons, I never want to be obese again, and I want to be tough for Mitchell.

Now the fun bits… Tonights glamour night.. It has started all ready, went and got my bling this morning, we have a make up artist coming to my house at 2pm to do our make up, then I am getting my hair done, then the $500 dress goes on, then the limo picks us all up and off we go to the City, for our night or nights! I am so excited and nervous.. I really hope my office wins an Award, it is a great night. Nothing would stop me from going. When I ate last night my tummy hurt for an hour or so, it’s a bit tender still, so I will try to stick to fluids and mushies today, so I am in no pain tonight, cause it will be a great night. I will post pictures on my site hopefully tomorrow and let you all know how we went.

**27th July 2008 **
I WON!!! Awards Night is all over, and I won Property Manager of the Year.. YEAH!! My department also won Biggest Growth in a Rental Department.. Was a great night, even though I didn't eat any solid food, I am glad I didnt let Patrick do operation early and I would have missed Awards Night...
I am still in pain if I eat solid food, if I just stick to liquids it is all good and doesn't hurt, if I eat anything solid, it hurts for a few hours..
I just rang Christine and Patrick, to see if it was suppose to still hurt, they said no :( And they wanted me to go in tomorrow and have the surgery, but my secret holiday I have organised for Luke and I would then have to be cancelled :( I told Patrick I am happy to stick to liquids but if I am doing damage to my body I would go in earlier :( Patrick's main concern is that when I am away I will get stuck and then they will have to ring him and I will be in pain, so I have promised to behave, and only have liquids so we can still go away.. I won't say where to, incase Luke reads my entry, you will all find out next week. So I am still booked in for surgery Wednesday week, unless I get in heaps of pain from liquids prior to then, but I am sure if I stick to liquids it should all be ok...

** 30th July 2008 **
Good new is = not much pain anymore at all :)
Well this time next week I will have been rebanded or had my band repositioned. What a thought! The last few days have been a rollercoaster.. Firstly by not being able to eat solid food cause if I did it hurt so much, too the last day - 2 days of being hungry hungry hungry.. I ended up having a Kim mini breakdown last night and tried to eat so much food.. I was so hungry, I didnt spew and nothing got stuck, as I have no fill. But I suppose what I am most disappointed about is that after losing so much weight and changing my life, well so I thought I am obviously still addicted to food :( This makes me sad and depressed.. The band is my best friend and I dont think I like being without it. When I have fill, I am in control and food does not rule my life, cause I am not hungry, fill is out - I am hungry and my brain takes over the body and just wants to eat and eat.. So clearly I have some mental issues LOL, that need addressing.. You would think after this long I would hate food and realise it ruined my life, the band saved me :) But as soon as the fill was taken out and the band healed for a few days, I am back to thinking about food non stop.. I can't wait to have my band fixed up, I never want to be without it. Its depressing and sad :( Clearly this is why so many of us have had weight issues our entire lives, and why we never lost weight on diets, why because our heads are addicted to food and always hungry.. After eating 2 much last night, I then tried to start a fight with Luke - which never works, cause he never argues (oh what a sweetie:) ) followed then by self punishment. I am fat, I want to cry, I did cry, I need to exercise, Im going to get fat again :( This was very very depressing. I ended up not talking to Luke and going on the treadmill, then to bed to sleep and be sad :( I woke up feeling crap and went to work. Am feeling a bit better tonight, but still feel hungry which is a concern, I am going away on this suprise weekend with Luke, and I do not want to be thinking about food the entire time I have activities planned for us to do..I want my band back :( BAND, BAND, ARE YOU THERE!! PLEASE BE TOUGH AND STRONG WHEN I AM NOT, AND PROTECT ME FROM TOO MUCH FOOD! :) I love you band LOL.. I am clearly also possibly suffering from a breakdown LOL... Ah.. so 2 more sleeps and I am aware for 4 days then back for 1 before off for surgery...

** 4th August 2008 **
We are back..... Our weekend started on late Thursday night.. My stomach was hurting again! For something new, so I gave Luke an envelope and told him to open it.. I had wrapped a map of Hobart. Luke thought we were going to Phillip Island, and you should have seen the look on his face when he opened the envelope and realised we were going to Tassie, and he had never been on a plane. It was awesome! Our plane departed early Friday morning, the weekend was packed with:
- Walking
- Exercising in the gym at hotel
- Eating
- Drinking
- We played pokies, roulette
- Went to Port Arthur
- Went to Botanical garden
- Went to Cascade
and heaps, heaps more... It was a great weekend.. I was only in pain probably a few times for the entire 4 days which was good. We got home a few hours ago and I am busy cleaning clothes and packing my bags ready for my next little trip, to Epworth Private.. to have my band re attached and re fitted. I am excited and nervous. Nervous as usual for the needle side of things. Excited, cause I hate not being in control of my hunger. I have felt soooooo hungry since having my fill out, I hate it.. I dont like the feeling :(
So I am all ready for the next chapter in my Lap Band story, having slippage fixed :) - BRING ON THE CONTROL AGAIN! :)

See my Band Slippage Page for my updates on the operation and photos :)

** 11th August 2008 **
Well day 6 of liquid stage, and I am so hungry :(
I got home from hospital on Friday and have been in a bit of pain since then, each day is a bit better. The cuts seem completely different from last time the ones down on the left hand side seem bigger and the one up the top seems smaller, I presume this is because he was down near the band on the stomach section rather than near the port, and cause he wouldn't have had to feed anything through the large hole up the top. So yeah its a bit painful, bit more than last time. But ohwell... I have been entertaining myself with the Olympics which is a god send, but I seem to be tired every few hours, so I am having Nana naps every few hours, and cause I'm not eating I have no brain what so ever. I daydream and I can't think straight. All I can think about is food.. I even crunched some biscuits today in my mouth then spat them out. I have warned Luke that last time I was on liquids and mushies I went feral a few times and to just ignore me. And I've already had 2 crying fits of 'oh I'm hungry'. I know I can do it, its just hard, my head is so hungry and it misses food. I would love to be able to just eat 1 meal a day even :( I went on the treadmill today for an hour at a slow pace and that was good, I was happy I did that to try and get back into things. I will try and do an hour everyday for the next few days, at a slow pace and just see how it feels, my tummy was a bit sore afterwards, but it was ok after awhile. I have been having Sustagen, water, no sugar cordial, tea, hot chocolates, soup and jelly for my diet, which I am getting so so sick of :( I am going to go back to work on Wednesday for half days for a week and then full time from then, I am bored at home, but just so tired, so will see how I go. So the journey starts again, but the finish line is so much closer this time, I just have to try and remember now that the weight I will lose in the first month, I will probably put a large amount of that back on as soon as I start eating solid foods again. Luke thinks I should open a catering business, since I can't eat I have become obsessed about food in other ways, I watch all the cooking shows I can find, I read cook books all day and I have done a huge amount of cooking, to the stage where there is no room left in the freezer for meals to go. So that's where everything is at at this stage, I am hungry which is making me sad, but I am being strong, cause I still love my band, and am thankful I have it :)

** 13th August 2008 **
Well 1 week since my Band was fixed today, and I am back at work, I get so bored at home. I am not doing appointments, just in office stuff but thats good.. I was in a bit of discomfort this morning but some panadol did the trick. I seem to be ok with not eating during the day, but come 4pm and I am starving and I just cry :( Its so annoying that I am so addicted to food on any level. I think I might go back to the shrink at Patrick's rooms to see if she can give me any advice on how to stop thinking about food 24 hours a day, it is driving me nuts and there is no room left in the freezer for anymore crazy cooking days. I have made so much food, we dont need to shop for about 2 months, we could live out of the freezer. I really want to start exercising ASAP, but Andy suggested I hang out till Friday before I start, so Im just going to take it slow and start back on the treadmill, nice and slow. I see Patrick for my 2 week check up on Monday week so that will be good, to see how he thinks its all going, and for him to check my wounds :) Next Friday, Saturday and Sunday I will be at Band Camp with Andy and all the people who are coming, so I am really looking forward to that, I will still be on mushies, but thats ok, I have pre made all my meals and I will take them with me :) I still can not believe my band slipped, I am trying so hard not to do anything wrong this time, incase it was something I did, or maybe I spewed to many times, I duno, maybe I ate to fast, who knows. I've always eaten fast and since having the band I have tried to slow down, but maybe 24 years of fast eating takes a while to change. I'm loving all the emails I am getting - thanks everyone, and I am trying to respond to them all ASAP. I have decided I would love to write a book about Lap Band, the journey the difficulties we face, and the fact that weight loss isn't just handed to us with the band, like so many people think we still need to work hard. I hope everyone is going well in their weight loss journey's..

** 15th August 2008 **
Well 9 days since my operation, and today would be the first day that I feel normal :) YEAH!! I have woken up with a little discomfort but nothing much, and all day so far has been good. I am still finding it very very hard in the night time to stop the hunger. I just cry cause I feel so hungry.. Very frustrating! But I know its going to be hard, but it will be worth it in the long run. I am still sticking to my fluids, having Sustagen, juice, tea, water, no sugar cordial and thats about it, oh and some very very thin soup. I started back exercising, just like treadmill and it felt good, I went nice and slow and when I got a bit tired and sore I stopped. So I'm excited I have started exercising again. I have lost a fair bit of weight over the past 9 days, but I understand that I will also put on a fair bit when I start eating solid foods again, so not trying to concentrate on the fact of how FANTASTIC it is to have lost so much so quick. I've lost like 7 kilos since last Wednesday.. LOVE THAT!! LOL... Work is good - I am coming and going as I can cope with which is great, its such a delight to work with such fantastic people who are always supporting me. Luke is a great support at home, when I am at my lowest crying about being hungry, all I keep doing is feeding him cause I can't eat. Mum is finding it hard to keep solids down atm, I think it's stress cause my Pa is so sick, MUMMY if you are reading!! BEHAVE YOURSELF!! Band camp is next week so thats exciting. :) Can't wait.. So I am on the road again towards solid food and can't wait :) When I get to goal weight which won't be too long, I am going to concentrate solidly on trying to tighten and tone my skin, that seems to be my biggest problem now, my tummy and arms are the worst, and my non existant boobs of course. So will see how that next challenge goes, cause ideally I didnt want to have to have surgery to remove it, so we will see ;)

** 18th August 2008 **
Well I am feeling good today. Woke up feeling tired but good. I went on the treadmill for 40 mins, a great start t othe day. I then went to the Newsagents to check if my article was in! And OMG I am in Womans Day.. I love the story they did, and Patrick did a little story on the same page about the procedure etc. I think I like the story more in Womans Day than the That's Life one I was in. I love the photo they picked even though I hadn't done my hair LOL.. Its the picture of me in one leg of my old big jeans. So I have had about 20 text messages today and lots of phone calls. My family is so funny :) LOL.. But I am really happy with it, and it is positive promotion of the band, which I love even more. I love that obese people everywhere in Australia will read the article and hopefully feel a small sense of hope and look into having the Band as the tool to lose weight and change their life forever! I have gone on the treadmill tonight for an hour and a bit and did 10 kms so I was very happy with that. No other real news.. Mitchell is the same, still having Chemo in Royal Childrens, me and some of the girls at work are going to be cooking dinner for 20 families that are in the Ronald McDonald house hopefully in a few weeks, so I have been ringing around and have managed to get all the food donated - so really happy about that. Mitchell is still fighting strong, and as he is getting older he is getting such a personality - I love him to bits, he is a beautiful beautiful boy and I love him so much! My Pa is unfortunately no good, he is very sick, and almost at a stage of being in a coma :( my Mum is on leave at the moment looking after him, and I am there on weekends and pop in during the day, but unfortunately I would say his days are limited and he will be with Nana probably sooner rather than later. :( Which is sad, very sad, but also it will be nice to know he is finally at rest and with Nana again, his little Gem! Luke has been studying hard for exam, and working out lots, his arms are so much bigger OMG his tops are so tight on his arms, its crazy LOL.. I am looking at doing a Rowing course - Introduction to Rowing its for 5 days, 5 Saturdays, for 1 1/2 hours and they teach you to Row, its on the Yarra in the City, I am excited about this, I am hoping I will love it and also that it will tone my arms up. That's about it for today. Night all :)

** 25th August 2008 **
Hi everyone.. I will be offline for a few days, my Pa has passed away last night.

** 30th August 2008 **
I'm back... Well what a week!! My pa had been in a coma for about a week at home, as he has lived with my Mum and Dad for the past 9 years, he has dementia and my parents have cared for him. My nana passed away 15 months ago and he has never been the same since. He missed her and just wanted to be with her and didnt want to be alive anymore. So his wish was granted and he passed away on Sunday night in his own bed at home. We were all at home with him, so he was not alone in his last days. The funeral was on Thursday and it was lovely, my Mum did a great job at reading all about his life, and it was great because she stuck it up a few certain people who have done sweet F#*$ all with helping care for Pa and Nana for the past 9 years, it was a great release for Mum and she now has her life back and is able to do all the things she has missed out on for almost a decade.. Her life is going to change so much, I am sure she will be sad for a long time, but she will also be able to have lots of fun with her family and friends going out now..
I was able to go to band camp for the Friday night and Saturday - what a great bunch of ladies, it was a great group and everyone was so motivated! Everyone was at different stages but most seem to have been banded this year. They all had so many questions, which I love, and they are so driven to succeed and lose weight - its great to see. As usual we had Lauren the Dietician who I absolutely love she is fantastic, I think she is the best Lap Band Dietician by FAR, HANDS DOWN! I have heard her speak 3 times now and I always learn something new and go away with new ideas. We went down to the beach on Saturday afternoon and walked along the sand that was lots of fun, and then we walked up a very large number of stairs :) As always it was a great weekend well planned by Andy! I am pretty sure the next Band Camp to be held will be Jan/Feb 09 so if anyone is interested email Andy :)
I had my first check up with Patrick the other day to check everything since the operation, he was a bit shocked at how much more weight I had lost, I said 'well if any person doesn't eat food for 3 weeks of course they will lose weight' he cracks me up, I am so sure it will be the same as last time and when I start eating solids (which is next Wed) I will put some of the weight back on. I am booked in for my first fill at the 6 week mark again, but he said all the scars look good etc, so when I go back I will have my first fill and then we will discuss a final goal weight, cause I keep changing my mind. LOL..
On the home front... Um... Mitchell is home for a few weeks, he is having chemo at home, he is such a cutie, some days you wouldn't even know he is sick, I love him to bits! Adorable! I can't get enough of him. LOL.. Troy and Janelle have a new house closer to everyone so we can all be a moment away to help with Mitchell if need be, and not too far to the freeway to get Mitchell into hospital for treatment and if his temperature goes up too much.
Luke, my beautiful, boyfriend, got his results last night from his exam to become a cop - and he passed, got about 80% - I am so proud, he studied so hard, and has always wanted to be a cop but didnt think he would pass the physical, he will smash it now.. :) Love you Luke, well done :)
Off now to the gym, I am back full steam ahead with exercise again now, and Mum is going to be doing water aerobics with me again, and OMG I am playing Basketball to fill in for a girlfriends team on Wednesday night, I havent played in about 15 years, this is going to be so funny.
Hope everyone is going well with their weight loss xo

** 4th September 2008 **
Well yesterday was my first day of solids, and I love it. The day started with some Sustain for breakfast, which was lovely, then 4 vita wheats with lite philly and smoked salmon on them, a banana for afternoon tea and then brown rice, sweet potato and fish for dinner. LOVE MY FOOD!! I am so glade I can eat again. I played basketball last night for a girlfriends team for the first time in 10 years! What a laugh.. I need to practice boucing the ball and shooting, but clearly I have no problem with getting into fights and pushing girls LOL.. It was hilarious.
I am back exercising alot which I am loving, trying to do lots of different things, gym, group gym sessions, water aerobics, basketball and im taking up rowing. So I think with a variety I will enjoy it more. This week I haven't lost much according to the scales, but I think I have definately lost more cm's.. My clothes are getting very lose again which is a great feeling.. I have decided to go and see a hypnotherapist, which will be different. I feel the only think I am lacking in my journey is that I still constantly think about food and am obsessed about it, and no matter how much I lose I don't really see the loss like everyone else does, and i hate all my skin, so the hypnotheraphy might help with all this, so I am committed to 3 sessions with this really nice lady who is local, so will see if that makes any difference, will be sure to let you all know the outcome. If anyone has been to see anyone and can recommend anyone please let me know aswell.
Upcoming events.. I have committed to doing the Walk for the Cure for Diabetes and also the Arthurs Seat Challenge which will be a battle but I am looking forward to that too :)

** 8th September 2008 **
SO SO SAD :(
I know if I read through my journal from first time around with my band I am sure the same thing happened, but that doesn't make me feel any better today! :(
I have put on weight again! :( It sucks and makes me feel like shit, I have cried everytime I've got on the scales in the last few days. I am back on solids, everything I am eating is very healthy, but I am probably eating a bit too much, cause I am hungry all the time again. I hate that feeling, I want my restriction back. I see Patrick on Thursday which I can't wait for. I am seriously exercising my ass off, I am doing gym in the morning for at least 1 hour and then 1 - 1 1/2 hours at night aswell, Ive been playing basketball, water aerobics, running, pump class, combat class, gym, 1000 steps and more and still I manage to put on weight - what a kick in the gutts!! I understand once we all start eating solids after such a long time of liquids and mushies that we will put on weight, but god it makes us feel like shit doesn't it.. :( I hate it. I hate feeling hungry, I hate thinking about food non stop all frickin date, I hate seeing the scales go up... I want my restriction back, I love my band, I love it being in control and giving me the feeling of fullness. I love not thinking about food 24 hours a day.. Patrick if you are reading - which I know you go.. I can not wait to see you on Thursday, pls pls pls fill me! :) I know I am doing all the right things, exercising, plenty of water, vitamins, haven't spewed once, eating healthy.. But I am still hungry and want restriction. Can not wait till Thursday to be in control again! :( :(

** 11th September 2008 **
Yeah... Had my appointment with Patrick today and all is going well. had a fill which was great ! cause I was craving it so bad. I've put on a few kilos, and I have honestly not eaten anything bad, I've just eaten too much food in general, I have also exercised ALOT!! So I am very happy that Patrick gave me a fill...
This weekend I am off for a new challenge and reward for losing weight I am going to the snow, we are going to Mt Bulla to snowboard. I have been to the snow once in my life for about 5 minutes and that is it! I can not wait, it will be awesome fun, and a great workout, I just hope I dont break any bones. LOL..

** 15th September 2008 **
Well this weekend I went to Mt Buller and Mansfield for the weekend it was great. My boss has a house up there and he let me the girls from the office and our partners go and stay there, it was so much fun. We went to the snow and went Snowboarding, as predicted I was crap at it and couldn't really do it, so I retreated to the pub with Verity.. LOL.. It was such a good work out though, at one stage I thought stuff it I can't Snowboard but I can walk, so I just kept walking up and down this HUGE hill in the snow, I can hardly walk today, great workout!! LOL
Some band news - Well on Friday I thought the band was a bit tight, but honestly it always is in the first 24 hours and I was on liquids, on saturday I was hanging a few small solids and they didnt go down very well, on Saturday night I didnt have a hope so I had soup. On sunday morning I work up and I couldn't even have yoghurt it was like a sharp jabbing pain when I swallowed was awful. So I thought I will just keep sipping water and see how it goes. In the car on the way home I couldn't even get water down without bad bad pain, so I got Mum to ring Patricks rooms, and he isn't back from USA until the 22nd September :( DAM IT.. So there was another Dr who was handling his emergency calls so I rang him and he told me I had to go to Epworth Richmond Emergency and have the fill taken out and ASAP. So off I went with Luke and Mum to Epworth Richmond Emergency.. What a wait! I hate waiting, I told Mum if it took longer than 4 hours i was going to tell them I couldn't swallow my own saliva so they'd hurry up LOL.. So finally I got in and then they had to decide if they had anyone on who could do it, if not they were going to have to ring the other Dr that I rang on the phone and he would come in and do it.. I was so nervous, everyone had warned me about never letting someone who appears to not be experienced with the band touch you.. Then this lovely Dr came in and she said she had done several fill removals as they are becoming so common now people are always coming into Emergency with the same symptons, so that made me feel better. She told me she would have to take it all out, I said NO NO, please!! I said I am only the patient and you are the Dr, but I have had my band for a while now and I think I know a fair bit about it and how my body reacts to it, can you please please just take out 2mls. (I had 5mls in and I knew I'd be fine with 3mls) I didnt want it all taken out, cause then I'd be hungry again and would have to wait until Patrick gets back to get more fill. So she said ok, you seem to know a fair bit about it, I will do as you have requested !! WOO HOO.. Can talk my way around anything !! LOL.. That's all my Real Estate training LOL.. So she took at 2mls for me, and guess what - INSTANTLY I WAS HEALED!! I was able to drink 600mls of water in the car on the way home, it was awesome, no pain at all, it was fixed. YEAH!! I am glade I didn't leave it and just ignore the pain until Patrick got back, I would hate to have another slippage. So all fixed and 3mls seems to be good, so far! We will see.. I am a bit hungry, but I want a manageable fill that I can still eat salads etc with..
Sports - I have decided I am utterly crap at sports. I think because I really didn't do many when I was younger I just suck as an adult. Next think to try is kayaking, see how that one goes, hopefully I dont have to cross that off the list aswell - LOL.. Surely one day I will just find something I am good at, apart from running on a treadmill.

** 12th October 2008 **
OMG I am so so sorry to regular readers about my slackness... LOL... So much has been happening where do I start..
Well first of all the good important news.. Luke proposed on his birthday.. :) He is such a cutie, our families were coming over for dinner and I was getting everything ready and he yells out come here I have a present for you, and I'm like 'what, shit, they will be here soon I am cooking - what do u want!!' such a bitch! LOL.. then he pulls out a little red box and well as if every girl doesnt know what that means LOL.. So we are engaged. He had gone and asked my Mum and Dad, and he had my Nana's ring remade in yellow gold for my ring.. Which almost made me cry, cause I was so so so close to my Nana and I miss her so much since she died and I was her only grand daughter so we were really close, I am very happy to be wearing her ring, and if I have half a marriage like hers I will be happy, her and Pa loved each other so much and were always so happy and in love, right till the end.. So then we announed to our families when they arrived. We have a video of luke annoucing it to the family, which i promise I will try and upload hehe.. So our Engagement Party is at our house on the 15th november we are having about 80 people. The Wedding is all booked for 13th June 2009 at The Vines in Coldstream, it is a lovely Winery and we just happened to have our first date there when we meet, we love it.. We are getting married in the Wine Cellar which is very us, we love our wine and collect heaps of bottles, then of course drink them... LOL... My Maid of Honour of course is Melissa, and my Bridesmaid is Patricia.. We are getting married on my Mum's Birthday, for some reason both Luke and my parents got married on people's birthdays - strange! so we decided to follow tradition and do the same.. I am very very happy and so excited about all the plans ahead... So that's the first part of news to update you all... What else...

My Band!! (my 2nd love) he he... Well I have been able to eat 2 much food :( which of course has been very very depressing, I hate it!! I tell you, I really think the surgeons need more support like a counsellor to support you througout the band.. I want to know how someone can lose 80 kilos and still be addicted to food and have such food issues - it sucks! :( very very sad.. I still get sad now if I put on a few kilos, or if I eat something I know I shouldn't - which is so wrong.. If anyone knows any good people to see about food addictions, pls email me.. My weight is of course slowly still coming off, maybe a kilo every 2 weeks, which is fine, but very very slow.. I had a fill on Thursday which has made me very happy and I think again since my slippage, I have gone back to the sweet spot, where I don't feel the pain of hunger again! Yeah!!.. So I am still exercising a fair bit, 1 session water aerobics, 1 session boxing, 2 sessions running, 1 class at gym per week minimum... I am trying some new things still to find a real love for sport - I would love to do kayaking which I am doing in a few weeks and i am hoping that I just love it, and of course I hope I am good at it, then it might give me something to be a bit nuts about. Luke is not losing anymore weight, but he is getting bigger with HUGE muscles on his arms, back and chest, which is annoying cause now none of his tops fit him LOL... But all is going well.. I now of course (like any future bride) LOL.. Have a wedding goal weight .. which means I ideally would like to lose a few more kilos..LOL.. We have our next Band Camp in Jan 09, and there is an upcoming boxing day for Lap Band people, if anyone is interested, Andy is organising it but email me for details :)

Mitchell- my beautiful nephew is still sick :( Back in Royal childrens, now with an infection and a problem with his kidneys.. it must be very frustrating for troy and janelle, they only had him home for a few days and then back again, he looks so sick, he didnt even move much for a few days and usually he is like a worm, that's when you know he is sick :( So the battle is still going, a girlfriend Meagan of mine and I are organising a few fundraisers over the next few months to try and raise some money for them.. We are doing a Shopping Tour and a trivia night.. Which should be great..

Mum - Mum is still losing weight and she walks a few times a week for 30 mins and does water aerobics once a week aswell, she is happy at her current weight but would be happy if she lost a few more kilos.. Luke's sister is currently looking into have a Lap Band and we are going to Patrick's info session tomorrow night so she can hear all about it from him, I am so excited for her... I love my band so much and I really hope its the tool she needs too to help her lose weight...

So I think that's an update on most events... OH!!! Almost forgot I went to the Copeland Trophy the other week and had pics with the collingwood boys, I will put them on my site this week, next to the ones from last year so you can see the difference :) My monthly pics are up to date with another one due NOW! So I will get onto that pronto!! and I will upload pics from Luke announcing engagement as soon as I get them.. I hope everyone is doing well, and I promise I will not leave it so long between posts - lol - thats everyone for your continued kind messages xo

** 20th October 2008 **
What a weekend... What a waste of a weekend.. After an absolute shit house of a week at work, me and the girls from work went out for a drink.. Or 30 odd. I drunk so so so much beam and diet coke - what a disgrace.. I am actually disgusting in myself.. I dont even remember most of the night, and Luke picked us up and he had to carry me into the house (thanks good boy Luke).. I woke up in the morning feeling shit house and I am kicking my own ass. I am honestly disgusted, Mum if you are reading this I PROMISE I WILL NEVER NEVER NEVER drink more than 3 DRINKS IN ONE DAY - EVER AGAIN!!! That is my life long promise!! I am so so so so mad at myself. I had the worst week at work, some very mean staff member made me very sad in the afternoon which made me want to cry and of course I wanted to drink to supress this feeling :( Very sad... Shit house week, = shit weekend.. I slept for 13 hours on Saturday night... I did no exercise all weekend, no I lie, if you call walking to the supermarket on Saturday morning to buy food to try and kill my hang over then I did exercise... I have snapped out of my shitty week, today is Monday the start of a new week... And I will never drink that much and be that lazy ever again - disgrace!!
I have receieved a very nice email from a lady this week about seeing her for my head hunger issues so I am in the process of booking in to see her, I am really looking forward to it.. I hate that I always eat or drink for my emotions - its bull. and I hate that I have head hunger still - so looking forward to sorting that out. I have also booked Mum and I into going to a seminar of Helen Bauzon, she has a website and the text of the seminar is as follows:

Lap Band Surgery Dietitian
One of the most crucial steps to successfully keeping weight off for good when using a Lap Band is education, ongoing support and impeccable dietary advice, with an experienced Lap Band Surgery Dietitian such as Consultant Dietitian Helen Bauzon .

Lap Band Surgery Dietitian Helen Bauzon Can Help You If:
You Feel You Have Not Lost Enough Weight Since Lap Band Surgery
You Want Gradual, Continual & Permanent Weight Loss With The Lap band
You Regurgitate Your Food
You Want Ongoing Support & Follow Up Post Lap Band Surgery
You Want To Change Doctors For Your Future Adjustments Of The Lap Band
You Are Considering Lap Band Surgery

You Will Learn:
How To Lose Weight, Without Dieting
The Secret To Keeping Your Food Down
How To Lose Your “Flab”
How To Maximize The Effect Of Your Lap Band
What To Eat To Lose Weight, Without Dieting
How To Deal With The Head / Habit Hunger
How to Avoid The Loop Holes If You Are Considering Lap BandSurgery

Follow 100% Of My Program & Get The Results You Want

Helen Bauzon Provides Education & Support For You Via:
Seminars Next Lap Band Seminar, Monday 27th October

If anyone has been to her seminar's before Id love to hear from you how it was.
Hope everyone is doing better than me last week - but moving on and forward now - I have learnt from my mistakes LOL...

** 26th October 2008 **
Well what a busy busy weekend.. On Friday night I went out with Patricia for her 25th Birthday to a Bar called Barry - what a hole!! LOL.. I did NOT DRINK ANY ALCOHOL - omg I was so so proud, Not one!! I drunk water all night and danced my heart out (great exercise), I got home at about 4.30am :( So so tired.. Then on Saturday morning I head over to Frankston for a box session with 12 other Lap Band women with Andy, what a great bunch of people, so motivated to work with their band and make sure they can lose as much weight at possible. We were all at different stages with our band and our level of fitness, but everyone was there for the same reason, we want to be fit and healthy. It was a great session. I think Andy is planning to run them every fortnight so if anyone is interesting in joining the group -pls contact Andy for details. On Saturday night I went out again (little rager that I am) LOL.. I went out this time with Belinda and Jenni, what a great night ,we went to Bazoo and then to the Dorset, what a funny, funny night. I have 2 alcoholic drinks and then STOPPED!! I am so so god dam proud of myself, I drunk water for the rest of the night, I danced non stop for 6 HOURS, that's right 6 HOURS, what a great caloried burner, had an awesome time. In the past I would NEVER have got on stage and danced like that I hated being looked at by anyone, and to be honest I still do, but I didn;t mind as much now. I had 2 men try and pick me up, which was a great great feeling, and I just flashed my rock. I was so excited when I got home at 4am again, that I told Luke.. LOL. He just laughs, he understands, I dont want anyone else, but what a great feeling it is to be wanted finally by others.. and this just proves my point that I have had for years.. People unfortunately do judge others purely on looks first.. which is very sad, but unfortunately true. So what a great weekend I have had.. On Monday night (2m) I am going to the Dietician Helen's talk with my Mum, so I am really looking forward to that to see what she has to say, and then on Wednesday I see Merril the Dietician at Patricks, and then on Thursday I am seeing Jodie the life coach, so by the end of the week, I think I will have decided who I think can help me more and go with that person for some motivational sessions and try and sort out this head hunger bull shit..
PATRICK IF YOU ARE READING THIS - I need a fill AGAIN!! I know..!! I dont understand. I am actually scared.. I currently have 6 mls in my band and last night I had 7mls when I had my slippage, but there is NO WAY that I have the restriction now as what I did last time. I can eat way too much, and within 1 hour of eating I am hungry again. Which is really starting to piss me off! It is doing my head in! I hate being hungry, I hate thinking about food. So I dont know what to do. I have put on a few kilos which I am NOT AT ALL happy about. I am not eating junk food, Ive had a little chocolate, but mostly I am just eating too much food in general. On the other hand I am a bit worried if I go up more mls - am I going to slip again! I dont know what to do. :( I wonder if cause my band was refitted that it is different in placement and therefore I shouldn't even be comparing to last times mls.. I dont know..

** 29th October 2008 **
Well this week has been ok I suppose.. On Monday night I went to the Dietician seminar of Helen Bauzon.. There was about 25 - 30 people there I think. She was a very good speaker, but unfortunately I can't say I personally got that much from it. I think what she said was excellent and very informative, but for me probably not worth while. But for those who are newly bandid I would definately highly recommend it. I need more of the head issues with head hunger and emotional eating, rather than that information, but was still a good night. Today I am seeing Merril my Dietician from Patrick's room, I have kept a food diary for a week to show her exactly how much I can eat :( I haven't lied on the diary LOL.. I even put down the day I ate 1/2 a block of chocolate, no lies.. It is doing my head in.. I hate the frustration I am feeling with being hungry, with eating a large meal and then 1 - 2 hours later being starving again. If I wasn't exercising so much I would surely have put on a lot more weight than I have.. There has to be a happy medium, I dont want so much restriction that I can't eat healthy food, cause I am enjoying this time around being able to eat salads and fruit, but I hate the amount of food I can eat. I am really really really looking forward to seeing Merril today and hope she is able to help me.

Photo from Saturday night with Bee and Jen.. And then I found an old photo of us too.. :) This is why I will always love my band through the good and bad times

** 29th October 2008 **
Merril is the best - chuck out the rest - he he
Just got from from seeing Merril and I feel so much better. I am going to continue to see her on a regular basis until I feel better about everything.. She asked all the right questions and got to the bottom of my problem which is
1. I am obsessed about losing weight (Yeah we all know that lol)
2. I am so so scared of ever being overweight again
3. I still hate the way I look (myself personally)
4. I am not living a normal life with the amount of exercise I am doing, and there is no way I could do that for the rest of my life.
She indicated that it might be almost like a form of an eating disorder.
So she made a recommendation to me, she asked me what do other people, friends. family. strangers think when they look at me. I said most of my friends and family just say I look great, and to stop losing weight. She said what do I think - I said I hate being told I look beautiful cause I still don't believe it, its like when I was obese people always still said - oh that looks good - u look nice in that etc. etc. All lies - I understand people were doing that to be nice, but now that is all I can get through my head.
I also have a huge issue with my skin :( I was going to wait until after I have babies which will be like 5- 7 years, but I dont think I can live like this for another 5 - 7 years, I have no self esteem about the way I look, I only think negative not positive. So I have decided to see the plastic surgeon Patrick and Merril recommend aswell and see what can be done..

So here is my question to you all... And please be honest.. Do you think I look like I
a) should put on
b) am just right
c) should lose more
(Hopefully I dont regret asking - lol)
Thanks everyone

** 3rd November 2008 **
Thank you everyone for your comments, emails, messages and votes on my poll. Up until tonight it was pretty much 90% you look great as is, 8% lose more weight, 2% put on weight.. Then this morning all of a sudden 118 votes to lose more weight, yet I didnt have that many people visit my site overnight, so to the FUCKWIT yes thats right this is my site so I can swear on it - to the FUCKWIT who decided to vote 118 to say they think I am fat - You are so fucking funny.. If I listened to people like you and your stupid comments, guess what I would have killed myself years ago, luckily for you people like you only make me more determined to achieve everything I want. As usual some stupid wanker spoils it for everyone else... Oh how funny.. GET A LIFE YOU LOSER!!!
Ok now for the people who really matter... Thanks for your comments, I am seeing a shrink in 2 weeks, the one Patrick recommends, and I am seeing the Dietician again. So hopefully they will give some direction.. This weekend has been good I am trying to forget about scales, numbers and stats and ask myself if I am happy as is.. And I think weight wise I am happy, but skin wise - not happy. I've received a lot of emails saying WAIT until after kids its not recommended till after kids, others saying DO IT, life is too short.. And my motto has always been life is too short, I will not make any decisions until I see the reconstructive surgeon and see his opinion as he is the expert and the one who studied for so many years :)
I saw Patrick on Friday and he took ALL my fill out and then refilled etc. cause there was a 1ml difference, so he tested it all to get an exact amount of what is now in the band - I now have 6mls, so then next time when I go he can test to make sure the port is all good and no leakage, which he doesnt think there is - it is usually just human error. This weekend I have been at Philip Island with family and friends having a great break, and then I came back on Saturday night for Sarah's Hens Night, which was FANTASTIC.. This week I am also going to Oaks day with about 30 women, that I go with every year. I am planning to do Boxing this Wednesday night with Andy and then I have off Friday so maybe something on Friday, trying not to be obsessed about exercise, more importantly just exercise the amount I will be able to continue with for the rest of my life..

** OAKS DAY 2008 **
First pic is last year the others - this year :)

OUR ENGAGEMENT PARTY - 15th November 2008

** 5th December 2008 **
Well I have been very slack with not updating lately - sorry to regular readers!! What a last few weeks I have had..
It all started with the head fight as usual for food, I have felt so so hungry, as if I didnt even have fill in my band. I went and saw Merril the dietician who is fantastic and she helped a great deal. She talked to Patrick and they agreed to give me more fill. We didn't actually 100% know how much I had in my band so Patrick spent about 30 minutes with a needle in my port checking and making sure we knew how much was in my band - I had 6 mils exactly, this was about 2 weeks ago. Yesterday morning I went back to tell him I still feel like I dont have restriction, I am fine when I first see him, then a few days later it feels like I am hungry again and need another fill. So he drained in and OH NO, there was less than 3 mils in the band :( I was going to cry, I have read every Lap Band book there is, I knew what that meant - A LEAKAGE which means another operation. Patrick said not to panic, it could be something else, maybe he didnt get the port last time etc.. so down I went to MIA to have an xray, I had to have the band filled to the max, so that I could barely swallow, and they filled it with dye, so that any leak would then show on the xray. The Doctor that xrayed me then came out and said - YES YOU HAVE A LEAK!! OMG I was in shock, I didnt cry, i said ummm ok, well can I have the xrays and I will go back upstairs and see Patrick. So before going up to see Patrick, I went outside and rang Mum, then I cried LOL... I can not believe it.. I went up and saw Patrick again and he said he didnt even know what to say, he can't believe it either.. I must have done something terrible in a previous life as to why I have everything go wrong for me now.. I had to laugh with Patrick what else could I do cry!! I am to strong for that... So Patrick said to go home and think about everything and take it all in, I said no I already know my answer I will not survive the rest of my life without a Band, so get me booked in and lets replace it.. He said go home and think first. I rang him back in the afternoon and said book it in :) So I am booked for the 17th December to have my band removed and replaced with a new one!! Why I am very upset about whats happened, I am to be honest also a bit relieved. Relieved that I am not going nuts, for weeks I have been thinking why am I so god dam hungry, finally a reason to my madness... And although this will be my 3rd operation, I still love Patrick and my band and the life it has given me.. So another bump in the road, but whenever I feel sad, I just remember - people in the world are dying, in pain, in agony, little babies like Mitchell are so sick.. So compared to them my little bump is a breeze...

On the 3rd November I had gone and seen Timothy Pitt the plastic surgeon to have my arms and boobs done, and I was on such a high and so looking forward to having that done before the Wedding and now I probably won't be able to have it done till after cause it is too many operations too close together, so that is all on hold for the moment... So 17th December - re band, then 2 weeks liquids, 2 weeks mushies AGAIN!! For the 3rd time... Probably for me the most annoying and upsetting will be Xmas day cause I have been planning it for MONTHS and I mean MONTHS cause I am cooking for everyone, and now I will be on liquids on Xmas Day, but OHWELL!! it will have to be wine allday longer - how disappointing LOL

** 15th December 2008 **
2 more sleeps and then I have Lap Band surgery again :( Thank you everyone for all your lovely emails and messages.. I am looking forward to Wednesday, I am a bit nervous but only about the usual the needles LOL.. You would think by now they wouldn't bother me, but I am still crapping myself about the needle to put me to sleep and the morphine drip being done and the anti cloting needle, last time I told them to put the drip and do the anit clot needles while I was still out and they did - so I am going to ask for that again... So round 3 is almost ready to begin again, another hurdle, but still 100% well worth it in my journey.. I am looking forward to having restriction again, being in control, not feeling hungry and being able to go back to the gym and tone tone tone, and get some little chick muscles LOL.. I have Christmas lunch and dinner at our house this year which I have always always wanted to do - I can't wait, I am a little upset that I will still be on liquids, but ohwell, there are worse things in the world that could happen.. I will just keep remembering NEVER, NEVER, NEVER GIVE UP! :) I will post some more pics and an entry once I get home from my 3rd time lucky Band :)

** 22nd December 2008 **
Well I am home and my band is all fixed... Where do I begin, Wednesday morning I checked into Epworth at 7am and I was first on the list. I was a bit nervous and the nurses as always were excellent, they are so lovely.. Patrick came out to the waiting room and called me in and then tells me after I have Emla cream on my hands ready for the drips that he is going to take all my fill out if there is any in there, I was instantly stressed I didnt have my cream on my port area ARGHHH. Patrick the lovely smart ass he is said I had 30 seconds to get over it and get used to the idea LOL, so he jabbed me and took the fill out.. I remember waiting in the holding area thinking PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE let this be it now... Let everything go ok I dont want anymore ops :( I then remember waking up in recovery and then Patrick came and told me the leak was in the tubbing bit so he didnt have to replace the port or band just the tubbing which was good, so no mushie and liquid stage WOO HOO, and he put 5 mils in the band when he was in there :) YEAH. BUT now for the bad news, the nurse told me in recovering that I was accidently burnt in the operating room, I have about 6 or 7 burn marks they serioulsy look like cigarettes have been put out on my stomach :( So as per usual nothing seems to go smoothly, but again Im still happy that the band is all ok now, but I hate looking at my tummy I have so many cuts, scars and now burns. One of the burns looks all feral and possibly infected but I am putting the cream on so we see how it goes... So third time lucky here we go, I started exercising again 2day, with small walks, and Ive lost a few kilos..Thanks everyone for your emails and messages :)

** 24th December 2008 **
Hi everyone, thanks for the lovely emails and wishes you have all been sending me.. I am feeling good today, looking forward to Christmas Day and the start of 2009, hopefully a Year that wont involve anymore Lap Band Surgery LOL... I have lost a few kilos over the past week since my reoperation and I have been doing lots of causal walks. I walked for about an hour yesterday and then all other days since I got home I've been doing just 20-30minute walks. So I am happy with the results, I am also VERY VERY HAPPY that I finally have restriction again! WOO HOO since I had the slippage I really haven't had restriction at all which was driving me insane. I am so happy to once again feel in control and know that I can beat the hunger cause I am not really hungry.. I love the control my beautiful band gives me, it gives me a sense of control and makes me realise that I can lost weight and keep it off if I work with the band. For anyone newly bandid or not losing weight understand that you have to work with your band, just cause you have a Lap Band you aren't going to lose weight instantly, as soon as I had no restriction I felt like I couldn't control myself, but with the band once you have the correct restriction and you work with it, it will be your best friend and give you the life you have always wanted... I am still a bit upset with the results of my tummy, but I am still so much more happier than I was weighing over 150 kilos, I am just upset that when I have clothes on I can see the skin, cause I have excess skin it kinda sits out a bit, hard to explain but I will try and capture it on a picture.
Well to all my regular readers, family and friends, thanks for all your support this year, and I wish you all a Merry Christmas and a Healthy, skinny New Year ;)

Wishing Everyone a Merry Christmas and a Healthy New Year!!

** 28th December 2008 **
Well Christmas day was a success, I had it at my house for the first time and cooked everything with Mum and Luke. We had 14 for lunch and 7 for dinner, I was so sore by the end of the day from standing up I had a few Nana naps on the couch during the day. My stomach was very sore by the end of the day, I had a small serving of lunch and hardly anything at dinner and a few little treats throughout the day. Mitchell was sick :( which is so unfair for Christmas day and after lunch he had to go into the Royal Childrens, life is so unfair to little kids, HELLO LET HIM HAVE CHRISTMAS DAY IN PEACE!!! argh........ Mum and I braved the Boxing Day sales in the morning where I walked around with my arms in front of my stomach I said to mum if one person knocks my stomach I will bash them LOL.. It is still so tender and the main cut thing I will get Patrick to check next week cause something looks a bit weird, its like the port is almost sticking out, strange!! I started yesterday with a sore throat and today full blown COLD!! DAM!! My immune system must be low again, I seem to get sick after an operation and when lots is happening, so I am going to drink freshly squeezed juices for lunch today and have some vitamin C and some extra vitamins, see if I can beat it.. My head feels like it is going to explode and my ears are killing :( But other than that what a great time!! LOL... Luke and I counted yesterday and its only 26 weeks till we getting married OMG!! That is scary cause there is still so much to organise.. I will post Christmas 08 and leakage operation pics later today.. Hope everyone is having a nice chrissy break and trying not to eat too many naughty things :)

Big Boy Stage - Lukes :)

** 2nd January 2009 **
Well a New Year is here!!... What will 2009 bring? This year should be a year full of excitement. We are only 23 weeks away till our Wedding, we are going to Queensland for Valentine's Day, hopefully moving into our dream home, Hens and Bucks weekends, and much more.. I am going to be going to the Band Camps with Andy this year, hopefully maybe appear is some work promoting lap band, lots of new physical challenges, I want to do alot more weights, boxing, try kayaking, and definately go sky diving in 2009.. So the year begins and so does another year full of goals. Thanks everyone for your support in 2008, I hope to keep my site up to date alot throughout 2009.. Hopefully 2009 will see NO OPERATIONS!!! Lol, and health and happiness for everyone especially Mitchell :)

** 6th January 2009 **
Getting back into the swing of things.. Well this week started with going back to work, which has been ok :) I missed all the girls. And I started back Boxing with Andy on a Monday night, and god do my arms hurt this morning, GOD I LOVE THAT PAIN!!! Luke's sister, Emily also came with me, she was bandid 4 weeks ago by Patrick aswell. It was a great session, hurt a little bit when we jogged, so we walked and then that was good. I am also getting back into weekly PT session with Andy starting next week, which will be awesome. And as soon as I am allowed I will start back at Water Aerobics again..
JUNK FOOD - christmas FOOD - IT'S ALL EVIL!!!
From the Christmas break there is so much SHIT around, hampers, biscuits, lollies, chocolate - evil things that spoil your weight loss journey.. I will be honest - I HAVE NO SELF CONTROL - hence why I have a band.. So there is only one answer to this problem - CHUCK IT ALL OUT!!! Luke and I did the biggest throw out of food, all the crap and unhealthy food that was left from Christmas was put in the bin, it felt so good afterwards to chuck it all I know I wont be tempted. :) I got an email from someone the other day asking how do I help myself in a situation where you have junk food in your house, this is my answer, dont have it in your house CHUCK IT! If you know yourself, like I know myself I cant be trusted I would eat it and we all know the naughty stuff goes down the band very easily - so unless you are the kind of person with self control that can have just ONE and put it back, then my recommendation is CHUCK IT!

** 18th January 2009 **
We are gearing up for the next Band Camp, thanks to all those who have emailed :) I can't wait to meet you all. Have lost another 2 kilos in the last 10 - 12 days, which has been great, have stepped up the exercise abit cause the whether has been so good.. However, I have cancelled my gym membership, it is soooooo sooooo sooooo boring, I think that's why I haven't been going much lately, cause I really dont enjoy it.. LOL.. So my workout week is now full of things I actually enjoy doing. Monday night - Boxing with Andy (Luke, his brother and his sister, Emily - just banded) are also coming, Tuesday night - starting Yoga (have always wanted to do this for relaxation), Wednesday night - water aerobics with Mum and Emily, Thursday night - 1000 steps with the girls from work... So all of these things I actually enjoy doing so I think I will stick with this routine for a few months and see how it goes, I am also enjoying bush walking, and Luke and I are going to try and go a 20km walk once a month, just for fun.. We are also doing the Run for the Kids, which is for the Royal Childrens Hospital in April its 14km run, so looking forward to that.. Food wise, I have been pretty good.. Night is bad, always has been and I think always will be.. I am perfect during the day, all healthy fresh foods, then at about 8pm I get hungry for naughties.. So I have been having protein shakes, fruit, yoghurt or other things, and twice a week I have been having some chocolate or skittles, Why? Cause I like them, and so long as I dont eat the pack that is ok, so the key, is eat what I know I should have quantity wise, and then ask Luke to hide them! LOL.. I know not to trust myself... We havent had take out for AGES, and I do not miss it at all.. the smell of fish and chips, makes me wana spew, that would have to be the worst smell in the world..
So planning for the Wedding, looking for a new house closer to our families to move to, Working hard at work, exercising and trying to eat well, is pretty much what I've been up to.. I am looking forward to Band Camp Friday week, :) Hope to see you all there..

Freaky!! Check out how much you can see my port and all my scars LOL when I lie down. The port freaks me out!

** 23rd January 2009 **
Today I have had my first appointment for the year with Merril, my Dietician.. We love Merril, she is awesome! :) She is always so lovely and makes me leave feeling happy. We talked about how quick I still eat my food, and the fact that while I do have restriction it probably isn't quite at the sweet spot as I am having to battle with stopping eating everyday still, which kinda is what the band is for. She is happy with the foods I am eating, as I do enjoy healthy food, I am just naughty sometimes with cholocate and lollies, but not over the top and you gotta have a little treat now and then, but I just dont keep them in the house all the time now. So she is on a mission to beg and pled with Patrick to give me a small fill - 1mil. PLEASE PLEASE Patrick I promise I will be a good girl! Ha ha.. As I said to Merril so many people would just misbehave and put on 5 kilos to get a fill, but I dont want to do that just to get what I want. I am trying my best not to put on weight, which I am not putting on, but in my opinion I can still eat too much food, so I stop myself once I have eaten off my band plate, so a little fill will do the trick. I even suggested to Merril when we beg and pled with Patrick that if I get below a certain weight, that I would give him permission to take the fill out.. I just want to find that happy medium of a normal amount of exercise, and a band plate of food, and feel full for a few hours. At the moment I am controlling myself very well with exercise a few times a week, nothing over the top, eating what I should but not feeling full for a very long time, and then I have to start drinking green tea or heaps of water to try and stop thinking about food and the fact that I feel hungry.. So I will keep you all posted as to what the fantastic wonderful Patrick decides.. (yes I am sucking up, so Patrick if you read this),. please please please. I promise it won't be too tight, I will behave, I wont lose more weight, and I won't slip the band.. No more surgery for me..
On a sad note :( I got the quote for my plastic surgery OMG OMG OMG.. Unless I win tattslotto I dont think I will be able to afford having it done. For my arms and boobs $15,000 out of pocket $12,000 OMG.. I knew it would be expensive but holly crap.. I was hoping for out of pocket to be $5- $7k. Ahwell back to the drawing board with that one, I might wait a year and then see where we are at financially after the Wedding.. So that's where everything is at. I am looking forward to next Friday - BAND CAMP

** 25th January 2008 **
Well the last few days, I am getting hungry :( I am being very good to try and use my head and just fight it. The feeling of fullness is not sticky around as long, I am like 99.999% sure my band is not leaking again, I think I just need that little fill to my sweet spot, my sweet spot was always 6 -7 mils, so I just think I need that little more and then I will stop thinking about food. Yesterday morning and this morning I woke up and the first thing I start talking about is food, and what we are going to eat for the day. I AM NUTS!! Where as when my fill is in the sweet zone, I actually have to remind myself to eat those 3 small meals a day.. And that's what I like, feeling in control and not having food run my mind. We are going to start training soon for the Run for the Kids Marathon, which is for the Royal Childrens Hospital which is why we are doing it.. Its 14kms, a few of us from work are going to do it and get tshirts with RUNNING FOR MITCHELL on it, which will look great!! I am hoping maybe if Mitchell is well that day, that Troy and Janelle might be able to bring him down to the finish line.. At the moment he is on maintenance which means no chemo for a few more weeks, so he has hair OMG, we have never seen him with so much hair, he looks like a little man, it is so cute! He is the most adorable thing.. I have decided about this marathon, maybe not to do so many this year. This might sound insane, but I don't think I actually enjoy running LOL.. Those of you who know how much I have done since my band, will be thinking are you an idiot, you only now have decided that.. yes, yes I have LOL.. I really love the 1000 steps and bush walking stuff, hiking LOVE IT.. So I got a book the other day called 150 bush walks in Victoria, there are heaps of walks Luke and I are going to do, they range from 4 hours to over night 16 hour hikes and walks at all different levels, so we are going to start every fortnight on the Sunday, going for bush walks. I would much rather do exercise I actually enjoy now rather than just what I know will burn the most calories.. So I am now committing to Monday night - Boxing, Tuesday night - Nothing, Wednesday night- Water Aerobics and Yoga, Thursday night - 1000 steps, Sunday - bush walks.. I am happy with that amount, nothing obsessive and every bit of exercise I am now doing, I am actually doing because I love it, and really enjoy it - rather than just doing it.. So I think this will be longer lasting for a life time of healthy eating and exercising to maintain my weight. So that's where everything is at at the moment. I got an email from jacqui and she has recommended another plastic surgeon who is highly recommended who is alot cheaper than my guy, so I thought it won't hurt to go and check it out and get a second opinion, compare work and prices. So looking forward to that and just waiting for Merril to email me about the WONDERFUL PATRICK and how he would LOVE TO GIVE ME A FILL :) ;) Also to Patricks patients who don't know yet, his wife had a baby boy, Zac..

** 3rd February 2008 **
I'm back from Band Camp and what a weekend it was. On Friday night everyone was introduced and we all found out that Marie Claire were present to take photos and do stories about our weight loss journey's and Band Camp. Everyone met each other and sat down for dinner.. NO ONE SPEWED!! Yeah, there is usually always one that unfortunately gets something stuck and spews. I had a talk to all the ladies and 1 guy about my story and got into my old big jeans. On Saturday morning we were up bright and early and left the house at 6am for the beach, we did a light boxing session and then the photographers and make up artist were there to take photos on the beach, the afternoon was full on informative talks from a shrink and dietician, both of who were great.. Most of you are aware I went to the first Band Camp as a newly bandid client, I have since been to all the Band Camps to help Andy and talk to the girls and answer any questions. By popular demand I have now added a page to my site with Recipes :) So many questions were about what foods I eat and can eat, so I have done some examples of what I eat day to day, and I am also getting Merril to have a read to make sure she is happy with the content from a Dietician's point of view. To anyone who is either newly bandid or maybe had the band for years and a bit lost of stuck, I can not highly recommend Band Camp enough. I have uploaded some pics from Band Camp below.
This week I am back into work and moderate exercise, did the 1000 steps tonight and treadmill and weights yesterday. Tomorrow is water aerobics night. I am still looking for ANY BANDIDS who live locally that would like to meet up for a weekly walk.. COME ON!! I promise you won't die, it might hurt the next day, but you won't die!! If anyone wants to come for a walk, I put this to you.
EVERY MONDAY in February, being the 9th, 16th and 21st I will be walking at Lilydale Lake in the morning before work, I plan to leave the jetty bit at 6.30am each week, ANYONE please come and join me, you all know what I look like from my site, so if you want to come along, no pressure I promise you I will help you and motivate you as much as I can to make sure you get around that lake, which is 2.5kms (all flat) what a great way to start the week.

REMEMBER no matter where you are in your journey, no matter what little mistakes you made today or yesterday you have NOT FAILED.
You have only failed if you have stopped trying!! So come for a walk :)

P.S - Patrick I still need a fill, my brain and will power is doing over time hurry and get back to work :) HE HE

** 11th February 2009 **
Well... I am so so so sad :( I got an email from Merril saying Patrick has agreed to give me some fill, but I am having a very strange feeling that I have had before.. LEAKAGE!! It will be interested to see what fill is still in my band and what's happening, but it just feels different, not pain, just discomfort at night and weird, and I can eat way way way too much food. I wish when I had the first slippage that the entire band was just replaced instead of repaired, I wonder if that would have meant it wouldn't have leaked.. I am sad :( If I have to have a 4th operation I will be devastated.. Seeing Patrick next Thursday, will keep you all posted.

Luke and I are off to Queensland this weekend for Valentines Day so hopefully we have a nice weekend and I will try not think about food or my band.

** 23rd February 2009 **
Well we are back from Queensland, it rained the entire time, but was still nice to get away for the weekend.. We only have 15 weeks till Luke and I get married so we are doing finally plannning and organising. I went and saw Patrick last week and YEAH my band is NOT LEAKING, I still had 5 mils in there, it might have stretched though :( but duno at this stage. He gave me another 1ml so I now have 6mls, so I just have to see how that goes, so far so good. Restriction is there and I am back to eating normal Lap band size meals.. YEAH!! I am doing Boot Camp this week with Andy which I haven't done before, I am sure he will punish us and I will want to die LOL.. No other real news.. I went and saw a 2nd plastic surgeon who was about $5k cheaper, HOWEVER I liked the more expensive guy. Duno why, I judge everything on my gut feeling in life, I do that everyday in my job too. I judge people instantly on how I feel, as to whether I like them or not, and for some reason I just didnt have a good feeling, he was nice there was no problems there, he was informative, I duno it was just a feeling, and I will trust that. At this stage I am going to hold off the plastic surgery, keep saving and see what happens in the next 6 months, cause we are trying to move too, so would rather spend all money on new house. But on the same hand I am hating the excess skin! ARGHH.. Maybe I should see if someone wants to donate or sponsor some money for plastic surgery LOL.. LOL.. Or I could go to America and try go on Extreme Makeovers LOL.. LOL..

** 24th March 2009 **
I am back... sorry everyone.!! I have been so very slack.. I had fallen into a bit of a hole :-( Just been very sad and depressed.. But I am getting back on track. I am seeing a Hypnotherapist who is great, she deals alot with band patients, who still have everyday fights with food addiction. It is so very interesting to see that everything we do now as adults, is a result of when we were kids, its very interested.. I have been back to Patrick again last week and spoke at the Info session, and I seem to have found my sweet spot again with my fill.. I am steady with my weight at the moment, going up and down by about 2 kilos either way. What else is news.... Um.. Luke and I are still house hunting which is driving me nuts, we have found one we like, but we can't put an offer in for 2 weeks, so we just gotta WAIT!! Which I hate doing. I have just got back on the exercise wagon last week and did boxing with Andy, and he worked me very hard, it was a great workout and I could hardly walk for 2 days. It is only 11 1/2 weeks till our Wedding, and I am very busy with all the organising that comes with that.
I had coffee with David yesterday about being in a Documentary about Gastric Band Surgery, which was very very interesting, so stay tunned for further developments on this topic :-) I will try and update again shortly.

** 1st April 2009 **
HI everyone, you all must go out today and buy a copy of Marie Claire magazine, there is a 4 page article about all the girls and boys from the last Band Camp :-). It is a great article with lots of photos from Band camp so anyone thinking they might want to go should check it out.
Me, well I fell into a bit of a down spiral hole of CBF, can't be fruited!! I have done nothing for so long, and feel so unhealthy and fat :( So I have kicked my butt and read a few inspiration books over the past week and I am ready for a challenge.. So I have set myself a goal - To lose 7 kilos in 10 weeks for the Wedding, then I will be at my golden number and be very very happy on my Wedding Day.. So 2nite I will get on that treadmill and not on the couch, and I will move my legs and my butt until I can't move it no more.. LOL..
Food wise - I have been ok, not great but ok.. Been eating TOO many chips and crackers, but other than that ok, nothing deep fried LOL.. So the mission - to cut out chips and crackers and move and then move some more until those last 7 kilos go..
I was reading this book at the moment, that says before you eat anything ask yourself 'will this make me happy'? Cause apparently that is our goal in life, to reach ultimate happiness, and although food gives you an instant hit! the happiness does not last long and then you have hatred against yourself about eating that food :( so its a awful cycle.
I am still going to my Hypnotherapist, she is great! I really really like her and she always has little helping quotes and tools, to try and help me STOP and THINK before I put that food in my mouth.. So all is getting back on track! Hope everyone is well.
Oh... I almost forgot I am also going to be in a DVD about Lap Band Surgery.. They start filming next week, so stay tuned I will let you know how it all goes.

** 20th April 2009 **
Well I am back from Band Camp and what an experience AGAIN! Everytime I meet so many amazing people on their weight lose journey that are truly an inspiration. Friday night started with everyone arriving, and we knew we were in for a weekend full of hard work, learning and laughter. Friday night we ate the very very tasty soup and zuchinni slice :) YUMMO!! And no one spewed :) Well done girls.. Saturday morning we were up bright and early for a car ride down to the beach and a boxing session. Everyone was at different points of their journey, boxing is one of those exercises that you can work within your fitness level, everyone seemed to love it. Today Tonight were there to video us exercising and then they interviewed a few of us for our story of how much we have lost, and what we were hoping to get out of Band Camp. For anyone that is thinking about coming to Band Camp... I honestly can not highly recommend it enough, I have been to everyone since Andy started them and everytime you learn something new and meet others who are going through what we have all been through, the ups and downs of losing weight. Saturday, Mario and Lauren spoke about food and the mind, which is always great!.. Saturday afternoon a light workout where we did resistant training use 1 piece of equipment. Saturday night we have very tasty chow mein and ossobucco and roast vege's. Sunday morning a nice boxing session and then a talk from Sue who is an Image Consultant and teaches us the tools of how to dress for your own size.. So another action packed Band Camp weekend with a bunch of FANTASTIC WOMEN on their journey :)
Weigh in this morning I have lost 2.5 kilos this week ---- WOO HOO... I am approaching my goal wedding weight.. About another 6 kilos to go... YEAH!!

** 21st April 2009 **
Well just over a week until my Birthday.... 26 - OMG... I am getting old LOL.. But I also look at how much has happened in 26 years.. Lots of teasing :(, lots of eating :(, overweight, unhappiness, depression, sadness, happiness, failed relationships, jobs, houses, obesity, then onto weight loss, new house, new fiance, happiness and feeling good :) So much can happen in such a short time.. No wonder I feel 30 LOL.. So I had a drink of wine the other night and honestly my port hurt so much I thought during my sleep the scar was going to open up and the port jump out.. So I want to know if any other lap banders have had a reaction, pain, or inflamation type feeling from alcohol. I think I might have a reaction to wine! OH NO :( Its like it felt infected!! :( But then they next day it felt fine. So I think between now and my Hens, NO BOOZE... On my Birthday maybe 1 glass other than that NONE! So what will I do to keep busy LOL... The Chef's Toolbox, OMG has anyone not been to these parties!?? If anyone wants to have one EMAIL ME ASAP at my new email on front page of blog.. It is the best stuff out there, its the same theory as tupperware but cooking pans etc.. And no oil needed, its great! I have been cooking from the one pot every night for about a month, I love the stuff. And wait for it, we cooked a pizza in a pot on a stove in 15 minutes that 3 lap banders were able to eat and keep down!! OMG! So if anyone is interested email me.. But I am definately in love and a fan!
What else is news...... Luke and I are still looking for a new house :( no luck as yet, only 7 1/2 weeks till the Wedding, it is coming so quickly, can't wait. Everything is all ready we just need the day to come around. Mitchell is doing ok at this stage, he has up and down weeks. I have awesome Easter pics on facebook which I will load on here ASAP. Mum is still doing well, had a bit of fluid out to be able to keep down healthy foods, other than that nothing to report. Work is busy and unfortunatley I still deal with a large number of Wankers on a daily basis. LOL

** 6th May 2009 **
Only 5 weeks to go till Wedding... and I am sticking strong to the pre Wedding diet LOL.. I am going nuts. Exercising a fair amount, eating small amounts and NO ALCOHOL WOO HOO... I am so going to fit into my dress and look slim :-).. Mum and I are doing the 4km Mothers Day Classic this Sunday. The Today tonight appearance for Band Camp has been INSANE! Andy has had heaps of inquiry, it came out alot better than I thought, I was so nervous we were gona look like freaks, but all in all it came across very positive, so very happy with that. I am pretty busy just organising Wedding stuff, Hens weekend away to Torquay and Bridesmaid things eg. shoes! ARGHH... Luke and I have been practising dancing for the Wedding. No other real news, stay tunned for the Hens Pics in 3 weeks time, and then the WEDDING PICS!! OMG... And Patrick I PROMISE if I lose too much before the Wedding I will have pleasure returning to a normal stable weight on the Honeymoon :)

** 21st May 2009 **
Well only three weeks to go before the best day of my life "OUR WEDDING" Everything is all organised and ready to go.. We have picked the food and the dresses are all in, suits ordered and we are ready to go... Next weekend is the Hens and Bucks... Which should be a very interesting weekend LOL... I will NOT be drinking too much, girls take note of this!! And no fizzy drinks or I will spew.. LOL.. I can't wait it will be a great weekend. And then the big day WOO HOO... Weight wise nothing much is happening :( I think my body has found it's happy weight itself and decided NO you aren't losing anymore :( But that's ok I suppose.. It's not my ideal weight, but it is still 100% better than weighing over 150 kilos.. So I just have to keep telling myself that so I don't get too upset.. I am exercising on the treadmill everyday and trying to eat really well.. But chocolate seems to be my downfall, it never has been before, usually I am a carb girl, chips, crackers.. But lately for female reasons LOL.. Chocolate seems to be my enemy.. I would be happy if I just ate one small bar a day, but no I dont do things by halves, I eat 2 full size chocolate bars LOL.. and we all know chocolate doesn't fill us up at all. So while I have lost over 80 kilos and changed my life, food unfortunately still controls my mind sometimes and is used as my savior to comfort me... OMG I am human!! So no other news really, just trying to tighten everything up so I fit comfortably into my dress on the BIG DAY!! We have booked our honeymoon to a beautiful Island, where we can do bush walks, kayak, swim, eat and drink, sounds like my dream... Then after the wedding and honeymoon, back into looking for a new house and then July band camp is just around the corner... Hope everyone is well :)

** 23rd June 2009 **
Well... you are all not going to believe me when I go into my latest story... It all started just over 2 weeks before the wedding. It was Thursday 28th May and I was going out for dinner with a friend for his birthday. After eating some spicy chicken for dinner I instantly felt terribly sick and my stomach hurt so so much, I went to the bathroom to try and vomit and it didnt work.. i thought to myself SHIT CRAP i have food stuck in my band, I tried all the usual tricks some hot tea, standing up straight, putting my arms above my head.. Nothing worked, I drove home in pain and agony I have no idea how I made it home. I rang Luke who was still at work and told him I thought I had a blockage.. By the time I got home the pain was the worst pain I had every felt in my life, we rang Patrick and I told him I suspected a blockage he said nothing like my little tricks would work if I was in that much pain already and to go to hospital to Epworth Richmond to have the fluid removed. I was crying and carrying on like a 2 year old child- whats new! I rang Mum and she was yelling at me to get in the car with Luke and go but the pain was so so bad I felt like I was going to die.. I was vomiting every 5 mintues by this stage and it was so painful, I wasn't even bringing up anything so I knew it had to be stuck.. I asked Luke every 2 minutes are we almost there to which he always answered yep almost.. LIAR!! lol... When we arrived I went into emergency screaming, I was given a morphine drip while they went to find a Doctor who was able to take the fluid out... 3 and 1/2 hours later I was FURIOUS and in so much pain I wanted to kill someone, then finally a Dr came in and he asked questions, I said I just need the fluid out take it out!!! He said he'd be back in 30 minutes, I said NO just take it out now, he said we will just wait for some more fluid to go through your drip, cause by that stage i was very dehydrated!! 1 1/2 hours later the bastard still hadn't come back and Luke was struggling to stay awake, so I did what I am best at doing - MAKING A SCENE - so I started screaming and carrying on, saying OHHHH OUCH, IT HURTS SO MUCH, PLEASE HELP ME, JUST TAKE MY FILL OUT. A nurse came in and I demanded to see the Doctor and continued to tell them they were a punch of liars cause they told me they'd be back in 30 minutes. Finally the doctor came in and took the fill out... Instantly I felt some relief... I stayed in emergency for another 30 minutes and fell asleep then went home..

BUT... the drama doesn't end there...

Luke and I arrived home at 3am and we went straight to bed to sleep... At 5am I woke up to terrible pain and was again vomitting. I was sleeping for 10 minutes then waking up and vomitting my own spit, then cause I was so tired I would pass out again. Luke was so out of it sleeping aswell... At 7am I got up and said to Luke something is majorly wrong I gotta go back to hospital, BUT this time I waited till 8am when I knew Patrick would be at Box Hill and off we went to see him again..
As soon as I walked in to Epworth Box Hill - bucket under my mouth, pale white, Patrick said something is wrong I am admitting you.. I said to him then now you know its my Hens, and Luke's Bucks this weekend - all he said was 'NO CHANCE' :-(
I was taken up stairs and was admitted I was so sick I didnt even care what people were doing to me, I just wanted to feel better, I remember a nurse dripped 4 times to put a drip in and then Patrick walked in and said to let him do it and he got it in first go. I was so thankful for some morphine. Mum then came in aswell and we sat and waited for tests to be ordered.. Patrick came up and said we will do a barium swallow and a Scan on your stomach to see what the band is doing.
20 minutes later I went downstairs for the first test which was the barium swallow, it was then decided the band was fine, was sitting correctly and no damage.. SO WHAT THE!! They then pushed me into another room for a scan on my stomach, an interesting fluid was injected into my drip and it made me feel a hot flush all over, it was very very strange.. About 5 minutes later Patrick came in and informed me my stomach was blocked, I had what is called a Gastric Blockage. I was then taken into a room with nurses and they had a put a Nasal gastric tube down my nose into my stomach to drain it. This was the most DISGUSTING, HORRIFIC thing I have ever had done to me in my entire life. There was blood everywhere and as the tube went down and touched the back of my throat I kept vomitting.. It was feral. By this stage I had been downstairs for over an hour, and my Mum was starting to ask questions upstairs.. Patrick went and spoke to Mum and Luke to tell them what was happening and then they were told that I had the gastric blockage and that my stomach was so full and blocked that it could have exploded and if it did I would have died.. As soon as the tube was in my tummy, litres and litres of stomach acid/fluid were drained and I was feeling a bit better each minute.
Getting back to the room with Mum and Luke I was feeling so sorry for myself, the tube was so so annoying, patrick came and sore me and said they would still be doing more tests to find out why the blockage occured and said it might be stomach alcers, so until we knew more it was NO FOOD, NO FLUID - other than water, NO HENS WEEKEND and staying in hospital :( I was so sad! It was 2 weeks till our Wedding Day.. I also had to cancel my Tattoo, as a suprise I had organised to get an 'L' for Luke tattooed as his wedding present, but I also had to cancell that.. So 2nd time Ive tried to get a tatt and had to cancel, think that is the universe saying NO TO TATTS

So the story continues... By this time it is the Friday morning and My Bridesmaids and Luke's groomsmen have had to tell everyone that our weekends away for the Hens and Bucks are OFF.. The weekend in hospital was awful I hate hospitals, you cant sleep.. Everyday I had a blood test, everyday I had the drip in with fluids, potassium and morphine, everyday I had the terrible nasal gastric tube down my nose. Lots of family and friends came to visit and I think for the first time ever people knew I was really sick cause I didnt talk much at all which is so not what I am usually like. I was so sad about having the tube, I was so sad about cancelling the weekends, and I was so sad about the possibility of having to postpone the wedding :( Luke was in hospital with me everyday.. On the Monday I was taken downstairs for the camera down my mouth test. That was another unpleasant experience, I hate going under it is so scary lying in that bed and then going to sleep and hoping to hell you wake up. When I was in recovery Patrick came and saw me and showed me a picture of what a normal stomach looks like and what mine looked like... OMG.. I had completely deformed the inside of my stomach, it looked terrible. He is assuming that it is stomach alcers but there was so much damage to the inside of my stomach that he will have to do another test in a month to see if he can get the camera in further. So I was in hospital for a week, with NO FOOD, and was then allowed to go home just 9 days before our Wedding WOO HOO.. I was sent home with drugs for the alcers and a strict NO ALCOHOL instructions from Patrick. I went back to work for half days between then and the Wedding to get rid of my bordem, unfortunately I am still finding it hard to eat foods. I did not want to go back in before the Wedding so I decided yep liquids is best. The night before Our Wedding all the girls came over and we went out for dinner, and NO alcohol LOL.. Which wasnt too bad cause Belinda is pregnant and not drinking so that was ok.. The boys on the other hand well lets just say I think Luke made up for no bucks the night before the Wedding cause he and the boys Drunk ALOT... LOL...

The day is finally here... The 13th June 2009, the day I will marry Luke.. I didn't sleep much the night before, I was up first and started watching all my Wedding DVD's. Father of the Bride being my all time favourite. By 11am everyone was up and ready for the day to begin. Hairdressers arrived, make up lady, video man and Kylie our Photographer. I had organised luke a huge delievery of I LOVE YOU balloons to be delievered to him the morning of the wedding and he organised flowers for me.. We are so funny... The day went really quick and before we knew it we were MARRIED.... :)
I had water to drink and pumpkin soup on the night of my wedding, Luke ate all the other food LOL.. It was a magical night, I got my fairytale wedding, old fashioned style.. and everything was perfect. And looking back at the photos now only a week after the wedding, I am happy that I like the photos and the size I am in them.. Nothing has made me more happy and proud of myself in this journey, no magazine article or TV appearance has come close to what I felt when I first looked the photos and thought to myself finally 'SHIT I HAVE DONE IT!! I am not fat anymore, I look beautiful' and I have NEVER felt this in my entire 26 years of life.. Thanks everyone for your support, and enjoy the pics

The Honeymoon - At Hayman Island - just a few pics

** 4th July 2009 **
Well clearly my luck of changing my name and getting married has not made an ounce of difference. On Tuesday night I ate dinner and had the same pain again as last time, it felt like I was going to explode, my stomach hurt, I couldn't stand up straight and then the vomitting started, but nothing would come up. So I left it a few hours and tried all my great home remedies, which did not work one bit! LOL.. Green tea, heat pack, jumping up and down, nothing worked, so I had to make the call again to Patrick at about 10.30pm :( I hate ringing him on his emergency number I always feel bad. He told me to go straight to hospital where yes I would have to have the nasal gastric tube down my nose into my tummy again :( I almost cried, I said can't you get the blockage out some other way = NO, can't you knock me out to put the tube down = NO. Dont you just hate doctors sometimes :( But I knew it was for the best and that I would feel better once I had it down again. So off we went to hospital again :( We arried at about 11.30pm and I was given morphine, anti spewing medication and the tube.. :( The tube went down a bit better than last time. I think I finally passed out from the drugs at about 2.30am. When I woke up in the morning Patrick came and saw me and said he would do the camera down my throat again, and then a gastro swallow xray thing and see what is happening. So under anathestic again I went for tests, i always get so scared lying there about to go under, but Patrick is always fantastic and so is his staff and they always hold my hand and put up with my 3 year old sooks.. Ater having both tests Patrick came and said that there might be nerve damage that causes my stomach not to work properly and that he might have to do an operation which involves moving the smaller bowel to a different part of my stomach, because my stomach had created a pouch below where food would just sit and not get out.. Very hard to explain, but Patrick drew a great diagram. So at this stage I was still on liquids only, which is proving to me a great way to lose a few kilos in a few days, but I am sure I will put it on again when I can finally eat. LOL... On Friday I ate Radioactive scrambled eggs and underwent xrays for 2 hours to see what my stomach does to food. Very interesting.. Then after this test Patrick came and saw me and said you have a twisted stomach and that he will be able to write about me in medical journals WOO HOO... Always love to get my name in something! But this is going to the extreme, our family always seems to have the 'oh this doesnt happen to many people' story when we are in hospital. So Patrick explained again what is happening, and alot I think he has to wait until he is inside before he can tell me much more, but I am going to be operated on, on Tuesday, just 3 sleeps, HOPEFULLY this will be the end of going to hospital, as much as Patrick and Christine and all the staff at Epworth are Great, I am sooooooooooo over seeing them in hospital. So cross my fingers that this will fix me once and for all... Will keep everyone updated once surgery is over.. My poor girls at work, I have had so much time off in the last 2 months :( Sorry girls.. I do miss you and trust me I'd rather be at work than in hospital and having operations..

** 13th June 2009 **
Well it's a week tomorrow since my op. Each day I am feeling a bit better, the cuts are still tender and I still have bad shoulder tip pain but I am really really hoping this was my last operation and that I am all fixed. I have been eating solid food, and it seems that if I eat a small amount I am fine, one mouth full too much and pain, so only small meals at all times. Which is a good thing.. I am hoping when I see Patrick next week that he will give me some fill back, cause I have been without fill for about 6 weeks now and it is killing me.. The head hunger! When I didn't eat anything in hospital it was ok cause i think your body switches to starvation mode, but now that I am eating, my tummy wants and wants the food. I am going back to work this week, which will be good cause I am going a bit nuts and there is only so much Foxtel you can watch. Its our 1 month wedding anniversary today, 1 month already OMG goes so quick, and in that month I have been in hospital alot LOL.. Next weekend 25th/26th July is Band Camp again, WOO HOO.. Can't wait to catch up with Andy and meet some new and fantastic Lap Banders, its at a new destination this time so that will be awesome to see the new place. Hope everyone is doing well.

Piczo